Somebody up there must love me. My H and I talked yesterday, we cried, and talked some more. We're going to work it out!<P>We're going to counseling to get the help we need.<P>I have a lot of work to do to regain his trust and I plan to do whatever it takes to make him happy. I also plan to work very hard on myself and my marriage - I've hurt him so terribly and want to repair the damage I've done.<P>I'm only sorry it took something like this to make me realize how very much I love him. I have had the wake-up call of a lifetime and now I see what a truly wonderful husband I have.<BR>

Good for both of you!!! I am not surprised, to be honest. Hope we helped - we will continue to do so. Just be aware that there will be ups and downs - not completely smooth sailing now. You're going to have to give a whole lot before you can expect much in return.<P>Congrats!<BR>WAT

Susie,<BR>I am so happy for you! Now make sure you follow the advice you've been given. H will suffer setbacks, it will be rough at times. It's called the "emotional roller-coaster". Try not to get angry if he gets upset. Remember, he did not ask for this and he really wants nothing more than to get past it. I'm finding that in my situation, if you've got all the important stuff in place, you can weather the storms and come out stronger.<P>You've expressed remorse and love for your H. Tell him this every day. Write letters to him. Be there for him, for the first months it is so much harder for him. Don't forget my offer to talk to him if he needs to. I know what he's going through, I'm probably dealing with worse issues than he is, and we're making it. My email address is in your other thread.<P>Ok, I'm sure many people here are happy for you this morning. Good luck, help your H rebuild trust, be honest, and loving, and you'll make it through this.<BR>Dave<P>

Susie, I am so happy for you and your husband. Please continue to post and encourage your husband to do so as well. Listen to the message's on the board. Just like Dave and Wat have said, there will be ups and downs. It won't be smooth sailing.<P>Just knowing that your H loves you is a very comforting thought. I thought that last night as I was laying in bed, my H is suffering from a virus, and he was very ill. He had his arms around me in bed, and I felt such a comfort, that it was the most marvelous feeling in the world.<P>One important thing that I had to learn the hard way, don't skirt any issue! If he asks questions, answer them! Assure him that it is him that you love, that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. I wrote my husband letters all the time. I posted. There were many a tear shed, and also many a name called. But, we are making it!<P>I strongly encourage counseling individually and seperate. Good luck on your journey!<BR>PJ

Wonderful! Like many before have said, be there for him. Let him know by thoughts and deeds that he is the best husband you could have, and you know he loves you and you wany him to know you love him without a doubt.<BR>Work on finding out what his and your needs are. Start by asking him what needs he needs met. He needs to know you are giving 100% or more. Take things slow and don't rush him.<P>Happy New Year/s

Congradulations!!<P>Even though you might not realize it, you have given others (including me) just a little bit more hope.<P>I look forward to the day my wife can write a message like this!<P>Best of luck!

Great News! I don't have much advice to add to the great advice you have already received. If he has some really bad periods, send him here so he can see how nice it is to have a WS that is truly repentant and willing to do anything to save the marriage!

Susie,<P>Congratulations. Now the hard work comes, but realize this you and your H can have a better marriage. There will always be sort of a hole in his heart, but you can close it so that your life and his will much better than before.<P>Please listen to everyone else and realize that this will be hard work. I do hope you recieve those books. When you get them read them, you will be amazed by what you have learned.<P>Good Luck and God Bless,<P>JL

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Thanks so much, everyone! I know it will be a long road, but making my H happy and being a good wife to him again is the most important thing to me. I plan to focus ALL of my attention on him and will do whatever it takes to make our marriage succeed.

Susie -<P>I am so happy to see this update! I am so glad that you and your H are going to try and work things out! Just don't expect too much, too fast and you all will be fine!! Big Hug {{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}. Yay.

Nice One Susie - I hope you both continue to talk & laugh & cry TOGETHER.<P>P.S. Can you have a word with My W???? (Only joking).<P>

Susie,<P>I'm very happy for the both of you! Now you can both start working on your recovery together. <P>Best of luck, and keep letting us know how you're doing.<P>-HD

This is great news to start the new year. I think we all expected that it wasn't over yesterday, but this was even faster than one could hope for. Make it the wake up call that you both need to make your marriage wonderful, and don't forget to keep us posted.

Susie,<P>Just wondering from someone who hasn't been following your story.<P>Did you follow the advice of the Harleys and was there a PLan A/Plan B?

AH, everything happened very quickly. When H arrived home on Monday, he told me he'd started divorce proceedings.<P>I told him how sorry I was for all I'd done and asked him to please reconsider or see a counselor first. At first he refused, but we kept talking and got a lot of things out in the open.<P>But I intend to make sure he knows how much I love him and assure him that I'll never hurt him again. We've been given a second chance and I don't intend to waste it.