I rarely dream about my H, so when I dream about him I want to know what it means:<P>I was with my H in my dream and we were talking, then at one point OW was there kissing him(ha!), I was very calm and pretended not noticing(how can I not noticing that?? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]), and just slapped his back and said, "let's go". So we both were walking on the street, OW following behind us. Then we slowed down and OW just passed us ignoring us(she looked mad). Then H said: "how can I be with someone who's scary like that?"(don't know why he used this word "scary"), then I said something like he was still with her, then he goes: "I haven't been with her for a while".<P><BR>Does this mean something?? Probably no.. but I just wanted to write down. When I woke up I didn't feel bad, I felt something silly.<P>Here's not much but update.<BR>I haven't heard from H for a while, on Christmas eve he sent me an e-mail just saying "merry christmas", I wasn't gonna reply but I replied saying "I hope he had lots of fun with his family"(sarcasm). NYE, 2 persons invited me for parties, one is SIL, and one of my friends. At the end I decided not to go to either party, then H's friend I talk to a lot, said we could watch movies(he went through some rough time and he's alone right now--but he's not my OM). So I thought it would be fine. I bought some beer and snacks and got videos... then when I came home I felt I wanted to be alone, and since we didn't make a certain plan, I was gonna just stay home and get drunk and watch movies. So I called my friend who invited me for a party then I felt so sad, couldn't stop crying. I don't know why, because every NYE I was usually alone, so this time was the same. Then H's friend called and said that my H might come over with his brother. Since I was gonna spend time alone already it was fine. He didn't mind I was coming over but I thought I shouldn't. Then my H e-mailed me to let me know he was going to his friend's(we live very close), and he also told me that if I felt like talking to him he was free next day so we could go for a piece of cake. It's damn hard for me to say no. But I also know that I always come to the same point every time I talk to him. I didn't reply to that mail.<P>I talked to a couple of people and they all said I shouldn't be in touch because it's not really good for me, and I agree.<BR>My neighbor is going to help me for the divorce papers since we can't afford a lawyer. After everything is done I will change my phone # and stay away from H..<P>Oh, I got a computer virus and was screwing around so when I realized it was already year 2001! What a way to welcome January 1st... Don't open attached file it says matrix!! my whole computer was corrupt and it was very hard I couldn't access internet or my files!!<P>Meg [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]