I found this site a few days ago & this is my first post. My situation is a little bit different b/c we aren't married, we've been together for 4 1/2 years, and until recently we were engaged. I have 2 girls from a previous marriage who grew VERY close to him (they lived with him longer than they did with their "real" dad). Anyhow, it's a real long story, but he's now moved out & seeing someone else (for about 2 or 3 months). He denies she's his girlfriend, except he's now making excuses to her about when he still sees me, if he even tells her at all--sound's like a girlfriend to me!! We were talking about it & I told him he's lying to himself about that part.<P>I really love him & feel we had/have a special closness and am not ready to give up. Through reading this site I see many mistakes that I made with him. Are all of you married? Am I an idiot for wanting/attempting to put myself through this when we weren't even married?

No you are not an idiot at all. The concepts found here apply to anyone that wants to have a better relationship or save their relationship. If you are not ready to give up, then there is only one thing for you to do...DON'T GIVE UP.<P>If you haven't already, check out the icon at the top left that says something like NSRs welcome and other notable posts. Learn about Plan A, EN, LB, etc. Sounds like you already did this. <P>They always deny that someone is more than a friend. That is the most common line in the book. However, you shouldn't really concentrate on that at all, instead, you should just utilize Plan A, and make yourself the best you can be. Since you still see him, start making these changes right now, but make them permanent. Learn how you can be your best, and let him see that you want to make changes and be his wife someday.<P>Your situation isn't as different as you might think. Just because you weren't married yet doesn't change anything....you want him back.<P>You can ask for all the help you need here. You've probably discovered already that this website is an amazing place to come for support and advice. Good luck.

Rick,<BR>Thanks for the support! I'm thinkin' I'm gonna be living at this site for a while! I'll be checking out more on here tonight. I don't have very many people right now who think I'm doing the right thing, you know "he's a dog, get rid of him", etc., etc. It's hard when nobody else believes.<P>Meanwhile, how do I get to put my story in the "roll call"?<P>

I don't actually use the roll call much. I'm sure lots of people just tend to know people just from reading their posts through time, but that is just me. Someone else might know more about the roll call.<P>Don't worry about people not understanding your goals. Often people (friends, family) don't quite understand why we fight for our relationships. The general thought is if someone leaves you for another, boot them and move on. It isn't that simple. If you gain an understanding of why these things happen, you can get over it and you may want them, back. You aren't alone in your quest.