Hi Annie.<P>My W is still with me, but seeing OM.<P>You have a choice to either plan A or Plan B - and cut off contact. I would say the latter would be difficult with the children & he is phoning you and having contact.<P>You say you have been plan A'ing since September, so be honest first & ask yourself how effective you've been overall. I havn't read the Harley's books yet, but I've read a lot of posts & all the site info. Check out "What to do with a wayward H", and I would suggest sticking with Plan A stringently for longer. If you're seeing tears, and he's phoneing for trivual issues, it sounds like he might be thinking harder than you realise. Of the two choices, I think Plan A would be best for a while longer, but you MUST try not to LB at all, and I know it's hard. You have to show your love in any way you can.<P>You say his folks reckon his story keeps changing. That sounds like dishonesty from somewhere, and if she needs a VISA to stay, I wonder what her motives are for stealing your H? Maybe he's wondering too?<P>Wait it out, Plan A with total resolve, and matbe write him a letter if you want to get across how you feel - but NO LOVEBUSTING, it will give him a reason to stay with her.<P>Check out the Lovebank concept, and think about what you say & do, and whether it will deposit or withdraw Love Units. Ask yourself how you would feel if it was said or done to you & take action.<P>Hope this helps, and read other posts too - there's plenty of us going through the mill right now, so vent here.<P>Regarding your Dday A, there isn't much you can do about this, I don't think - you can't really send him a card or anything, but perhaps by a renewed effirt at Plan A and showing your love in what you do & say might be the right "gift".<P>Good Luck - Rome wasn't built in a day, and it's still standing now.<P>McB.
