There are a few specific things from the A that my H is currently having that keep haunting me. How do you get them to go away? I have been thinking of this for awhile, and think that by listing them here may help cleanse my mind from them.....bear with me, looking back, some of these things seem so dispicable that I don't know why I put up with them!!!<P><BR>I found out about the affair because he had had her in our home. Slept in our bed, showered in our shower, took a bath together in our whirlpool tub, had sex in every room of our house except for the kids' bedrooms.<P>2 weeks after d-day, H decided he needed to live with OW for a few days to help him decide what he wanted. I not only allowed him to do this, but drove him to the airport to meet her as she was coming home from being out of town.<P>I was pregnant at the time, and a week before our son was born had a scare----he had stopped moving. I was sent directly to the hospital, where I called H to meet me. He talked to OW on the way to the hospital, and 1/2 hour after arriving back home, was IMing to her. Didn't show much concern for me or the baby, but was concerned that she would be mad if he didn't show up for their scheduled chat session!<P>While I was in the hospital after having our son, he talked to her for 3 hours on the phone from home. I don't know for a fact, but I'm sure he IM'ed with her while he was with me at the hospital, too.<P>Went on a business trip with her, and the two of them went for a long weekend to Disney before the business part of their trip started.<P><BR>There's many, many more really pathetic things that he's done, but these are the specific events that literally haunt me. I need help finding a way to stop them.....

When you find it, let me know. <P>I have thought that if we don't work it out, that I will give a list of things he has done to me, & say do you relaize that you did all these things, I guess I would like for them to haunt him as much as they haunt me.<P>If we could work it out, I think, I hope, I could forget but I wonder sometimes. Then I wonder if that is what keeps WS having OW still hanging in the background, what if he breaks with her, & then I deceide I really can't forgive him & he is left with nothing.

Why on earth would any ow want a man who would behave like this toward his wife and child? Even if she's a three-headed monster, she should have more sense than that!<P>I guess I'd try to get rid of those thoughts by thanking God that this man is out of my life! Wow, my response sounds awful, but your story is really out there. I hope that you have good support from family and friends to help you through this; you have really been dealt a tough hand!

Hi sing! I often wonder if he does break it off with OW if I'll be able to forget some of those things as well. Because it's gone on so long, I don't know any more. They're starting to hurt more and more instead of getting better. I was thinking of lobotomy to make it go away <P>wesse---your post hit me square between the eyes (and believe me, I needed it). Why would OW want him for doing those things? Why do I want him for doing those things to me and our kids? This is a question I've been asking myself lately, and haven't come up with a good answer yet. I'm not sure that it was clear in my post, but he's still at home trying to "decide" what he wants---OW or me, so I'm still trying to play with that tough hand that was dealt to me.

hurtingirl,<P>Wow, I now realize how appropriate your name is. I think I would be floored if I was surrounded by circumstances such as yours. <BR>The question regarding why she would be with him knowing the situation is easy. They are so far into the fog that that don't see reality. They are just there to satisfy their selfish needs. It's like their orbiting over things and not really part of real life. My guess is that when this A is over, your H will feel like dogs*** for what he has done to you and your baby.<BR>There were several things that haunted me and still do every now and then. What I had to do for my own sanity was to let it go every day. If I thought about it, I would pray instead or do something that distracted me. Don't drive yourself crazy rehashing these things in your mind. Enjoy your new baby and treat yourself to things that you really enjoy.<P>take care, <BR>cleo

Your husband is a despicable animal and I want so badly to tell you to get a divorce. How can you ever trust him again or put up with him. Can you not live on your own financially or something? He is walking all over you. I would have sent him the papers long ago.