This event may take the cake in the lying contest, or it may have a subtle subplot. Calling all you analysis freaks!<P>My wife has been in one of her "nice" modes since New Years. She's been real cooperative with our son's requirements and has even called me "Honey." She's been real sick with her annual bronchitis adventure, but she took the time to check up on me after I banged up my shoulder trying to stay out of Rick's way on the bunny slope. She offered advice (she's a nurse practitioner) with pain medication and seemed genuinely compassionate.<P>Last night (Friday) I offered to take our son to her place instead of her picking him up (since she was feeling so bad) and to continue the "nice" routine, I stopped at the store and got her a honey roasted chicken (her favorite) and a can of chicken soup - every Grandma's cure for everything. When son and I arrived, she was grateful for the care package. Son immediately dove into her frig, against her protests to stay out of the frig, to see what was available and I saw a half of a six-pack of one of my favorite golden beverages. Knowing she does not drink beer, I knew immediately it was probably for OM whenever he visited. My son said there was nothing in there for dinner, to which I responded, "Well, if you get desperate, maybe Mom will give you one of those expensive beers." She then asked if I wanted one, which I declined. Then I gave son a hug and left immediately without saying anything else to her. She should have gotten the message that I was hurt by her stock for OM. She never bought me the good stuff!<P>A little while later, she and son unexpectedly came to my house so she could get a nebulizer for herself. The first thing she said after coming in the door was, "Do you have any of my wine in the frig?" I said yes, thinking she wanted some, and went to get her a glass. Then she asked, "Then why are you so upset that I had beer for you in my frig?" I almost dropped my jaw. I couldn't believe she was trying to pass that off as beer for me! Why would she do such a thing? Was this just the best lie she could come up with at the moment or, in keeping with her other "nice" things lately, is she offering to move a little closer? I honestly don't know what her status is with OM.<P>WAT

Somebody stop this movie, please. I think the odds of her having bought the beer for your consumption are a bit on the low side, given that you never were in the habit of going to her place, right? There is this slim chance that she did buy some in case you ever go, and maybe since that is the only kind she had, she offered to OM. But it seems more likely that she bought some because he likes beer. Who knows. As per usual, not much point in analyzing it. Care package was a great idea, and you are doing really well at this game, so stick with that.<P>There is entertainment value in her approach of walking in the door and asking if you have any of her wine in the frig, knowing that she has to come up with some response to your remark at her place.<P>You weren't supposed to tell anyone that it was the bunny hill. We can't be cool if everyone knows that!<P>OK, some analysis ... could be a combo lie/implicit subplot as per #1, or it could be door number 2 with the hog behind it (from Lets Make a Deal)<P>1. If she is buying beer for OM, at least get the kind you like just in case you come by<BR>2. Perhaps wanted to buy beer for OM, but just to have room for a lie, got your kind, because if it was some odd kind, then obviously it would be for OM.<P>We better delete this analysis stuff before we get caught by SKM and the gang. You know when you call the analysis freaks, I come with my siren on.<P>You are doing a good job now, and nothing is abnormal about your plot, in my opinion. And your titles make me laugh.<P>

WAT,<P>Just for interest, what kind of golden did she buy? I like the dark stuff (Smithwicks, Newcastle, Guinness, etc.). Maybe you should pick a more expensive one and tell her that is your new favorite.

Can I jump in??<BR>LOL LOL LOL<P>At least she noticed you were upset.. I see this as a good sign.. what do you think?<P>As for beer, my H likes dark beer, (guiness), he also likes kilkenny(sp??).<P>Meg<BR>

Hiya WAT<P>One does not normally buy *half* a sixpack of brewskis. They were/are for OM.....you know that. Strangely though, I think it's sorta good that she still cares enough for you to concoct such a story....<P>At least the OM is a not a heavy drinker.....I'd have killed that six pack!<P>Hang in there, bud<P>Lou

Thanks for the analyses.<P>It was Sam Adams - don't know exact flavor. I usually don't drink it because it's too expensive. I've been on Killians Red since it is pretty good and it splits the difference between the high and low price alternatives. OM usually drinks light crap because he's fat. I know. Everytime we went to their house, I took my own.<P>I'm with you, Lou - it would've been gone - especially during college bowl season.<P>I think I'll let this sleeping dog lie without further comment - already LB'd a little, but definitely put her on the spot and she tried to scramble to put a positive face on it. After all, she could have said, "Don't touch OM's beer!" Then I could've said, "How does he open it, those aren't twist off?"<P>Dave

Hey Dave, <P>Your titles are cracking me up these days. <BR>The injury on the bunny slope is lame. I thought you got it doing something a little more heroic.<P>You should have had a few beer so that when/if the OM came over he would have to ask who's been drinking his beer. Then of course, he might know what it feels like when she tells him that you have. HA HA <P>

Sorry, I have a serious response. I see it as a good sign that she cared enough about you to lie. It also probably means she is still in heavy denial, but that means there is still the possibility of movement when she comes out of denial. <P>Thanks for the humor guys, I needed it tonight!

Dude - <P>Free beer is free beer - I say drink it next time she offers. <P>I, too, see this as a good sign - that she cares enough to even think about it or talk about it the first thing when she walks in your door. And, who knows, maybe the beer was for you, you never know (unless you found that script that you were looking for ).

WAT,<P>I agree with earlier posts. She cares enough to lie. She is still keeping you in the loop. She is still undecided.<P>When she is ill where is OM? Is he running around with honey roast chicken and soup?<P>Don't go over board but it all sounds like a positive rather than a negative.<P>Just be there for her,<P>Hope

Thanks all - I wanted to interpret this as positive, but was being cautious. Been down that false trail too often. But I sense that something is happening. Our phone conversations about our son are getting longer. We talk about our respective maladies - my shoulder and her respiratory crud - more than we need to. She seems willing to let me get closer or feels safer around me. It's almost as if she wants to take the next tiny step in my direction, but doesn't know how because she's still in so much denial. I'm going to keep on keeping on with the plan and let her make the first moves. We have a natural break-point coming up when we change-out au pairs this month. Our current au pair knows everything about the affair, witnessed a lot of the lies and deceit, and I think this makes my wife nervous because the au pair and I are such good friends. The new one, of course, will know nothing other than we're separated and I won't need to explain things. My wife may feel safer around her.<P>Anyway, stay tuned for further developments.<P>Dave

Dear WAT/Dave<P>You may be on to something when you are talking about the change in au pair.<P>One of the reasons I believe my H returned to the OW this summer is because I still live in an environment where I have maintained contact with all our old friends. He has cut all contact with them because he is to ashamed of what he has done.<P>Perhaps, without the presence of someone who knows so much of your history she will feel more at ease.<P>Take care, <P>Hope