The roller coaster is real! My wife has cut off contact with OM (EA with a side of phone sex) and has told me and her family that she is going to stay. I am happy about this! We had both been in withdrawal for some time and this is where we wound up. <P>I have been Plan A'ing for 2 months now (since shortly after d-day) and would like to consider us in recovery, BUT... I am being careful not to pressure her, but I am doing all the work. Our relationship now is like it was for me when I went into withdrawal. She will talk little if at all about things because she "has not had time to think". Her life is "too stressful and hectic right now". I think she wants to, but can't think about it. She is so caught up in the stresses at work and raising kids and her other comittments that she has no time for me.<P>Do I just need to be patient? I can't keep my Love Bank filled by myself. I have vowed better or worse, and I meant it, and I will not break up this family. To be fair, I do get a tiny amount from her, but not much. I am twisted up in knots and want to stay positive and keep the Plan A going. What the heck do I do???

Bill - wish I knew, but I'm no where close to this yet. Try posting this on the recovery forum. Also, if you haven't tried counseling with the Harleys, give it some thought. Sounds like you both could use some from somebody.<P>Good Luck,<BR>WAT

Bill<P>Surely if your W has just cut off contact then she will be just commencing withdrawal?<P>Have you read SAA it explains the process of withdrawal very clearly and how it may take some time before you can expect a loving response, depending on the depth of feelings she had for the OM. <P>It will no doubt be a very stressfull time for her so you need to be the strong one and lead the way with Plan A all the way.<P>Believe me I have been through this and it isn't easy. My W resumed contact and reignited the A.<P>Sounds like you could both benefit from some counselling sessions with the Harleys.<P>Colin