Ok, he calls me every day, sometimes twice a day, he invited me to lunch today . . . when we talk we don't talk about us, just about stuff (kids, work, etc.). When we hang up, I always tell him I love him & I miss him & he always tells me that too. Or when I do see him I always give him a hug & a kiss & he lets me. I don't get it. I hardly ever call him, or ask him to do anything with me/us. <P>What is he doing? He asked me today at lunch if it was "cool" that we went to lunch. I feel like he wants me to give him more confirmation that I care & why. (He's got pretty low self esteem right now-he's told me that himself-which I think is part of the OW thing too). I want to assure him of those kinds of things w/out being pushy, but I'm unsure how since we don't ever talk about much that would lead up to me saying anything like that. I read something in some other books (mostly by Conway) about how we should try to help lift their self esteem and also try to "draw them out"-referring to talking about what they are going through. Also, if OW is telling him all the time how great she thinks he is and I'm just talking about my trip to to grocery store-how can I compete?<P>Any suggestions?

bitsy - this is a tough one for me. Part of me says that maybe you shouldn't be so available, but you must be doing something right. He's calling you, I think, because you're not calling him. He wants to keep you within reach because he doesn't know what he wants? Consider some counseling with the Harleys and see what other responses you get before you change anything.<P>Dave (WAT)