Tonight I am consumed with thoughts of Ivory and his wife. I am filled with emotions of remembering my D-day and how tragically victimized I felt that morning. <P>I am so concerned for them. Are any of you feeling this way? All I can think about is how I felt and hoping she is better able to handle this than I was, or any of us for that matter.<P>I feel like I have sat here waiting for her to be stabbed to death and couldn't do anything to stop it.<P>Can't go to bed...<BR>Cathy

Count me in, Cathy. They're both in my thoughts for days. I confronted my H, and he confessed, but pain is no less horrible. <P>The're both in my prayers, as all of you are, my friends. <P>Adrian

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Catplay:<BR><B>Are any of you feeling this way?</B><P>What drives me crazy is when you post 10,000 words to someone with links and research and then they drop off the planet and leave you wondering.<P>We should make them sign full disclosure agreements. <P>

Yes, I have been checking this post and the number of replies. I admire the people trying so hard to help. <BR>I believe Ivory to be in a fog and trying to keep his options open, the OW H is the one that has issued the ultimatum, possibly as an attempt to resolve the A one way or another. <BR>Prayers for Ivory and W. L<BR>

I think he'll do it. If not last night, then tonight. I think he just needed a little quiet before the storm. He was on here practically all day for several days.

No offense to Ivory, but I've found myself holding my breath for his wife.<P>I pray that she will finally get answers to her questions. <BR>I pray that she will now know it was not her, going crazy...that the truth will at least let her see that it wasn't her mind playing tricks on her.<BR>I pray that she gets some rest, and has a wonderful friend or family member she can go to and cry.<BR>I pray that she knows that this was not about her...about what she did wrong, about her physical characteristics, about her not paying enough attention to Ivory, about her not being a good wife.<BR>I pray that Ivory can tell her the truth about every single question she asks...even if they are painful for him.<BR>I pray that she not compare herself to this other woman..that she knows somehow that she is not to blame.<BR>I pray that Ivory held her and told her how beautiful she is and that he would spend the rest of his life making this up to her. And that he means it.<BR>I pray that she didn't sit on the bathroom floor all night after D and drink wine while he slept like a baby (a little autobiographical there..but what the heck)<BR>I pray that Ivorys heart softens with the knowledge of what he has done to the one person on earth he was supposed to protect from harm.<P>Please Ivory, look at her. Don't think about how you feel. You don't get to think about that now...you have already done that when you went outside of your marriage. Put her first no matter how hard it is and what your feeling are. I know you hurt too, but it is nothing to how your dear wife feels.<P>Sorry if this sounded harsh. This post certainly brought back D-Day for a lot of us here...probably the worst day in our lives. I think we vented on you a bit,but listen to what we say and listen well. We know how she is feeling if you told her last night. Our stories are as similar as the stories of cheating spouses. We feel the same...most of us...at least the ones that found MB and decided not to trash our marriages. I am proud of you Ivory for doing the right thing. This takes huge...well, never mind. So many of us had to look for evidence for months and then confront our spouses...you did not put her through this...which was the kindest thing you have done. <P>allison

I think that reading about Ivory's predicament may have triggered the nightmares that I had last night - it was as though I were about to die, and I was shown, through memories and feelings, every single incident of the betrayal that hurt me, including D-Day - sort of like a documentary. <P>I know that WS know that their confession to the BS will make the BS feel terrible ... but do they really know how terrible it is? How much is destroyed? <P>belld

Sure, my heart does break for Ivory's W. I hope she can handle the news, although more than likely, it will simply be a confirmation of what she no doubt already suspected. Few WS are so good as to not even raise any suspicions in the BS.<P>I'll tell you one thing though, and I apologize in advance for venting. I would have died and gone to heaven if my W (WS) had the courtesy to do what Ivory is apparently planning to do. Even if his motives are clouded, as some of you stipulate, he nonetheless plans to confess and answer her questions. In my case, my repeated questions to my W were met with nothing but lies, forcing me to take steps to obtain "irrefutable" evidence. For anyone who has ever had to "catch" their WS, you know the indescribable pain associated with that; for those who didn't, trust me, you don't want to ever experience that.<P>At d-day, my W showed no remorse, no guilt, just disappointment at being caught. She shrugged her shoulders, and refused to answer ANY questions. Actually, she asked me if it would be okay for her to continue their "relationship" for a while .<P>So all in all, while I am sad for Ivory's W, I also envy her...<P>AGG

Good Guy,<P>You know, I'll have to agree with you. I was one of those people who had to hire a P.I. to get proof of H's EMR - his lies were so prolific and he had such a strong network of supporters backing him (including some of our former mutual friends) that it was impossible to ascertain what end was up. I literally felt like I was in the twillight zone. <P>I know that my H was still in the fog too, apparently so much that I didn't even exist to him. I became a non-person during his EMR. Now that he's out of it, he's so different. It's like he's not a pod person anymore.<P>belld