I haven't posted for a while...not that I haven't visited...just had nothing to add...until now.<P>A week and a half ago H & I found out our D has taken a step back in her battle with depression...self-mutilation. Since I had agreed to step aside for my husband and OW I thought I would call her and let her know what she was in for getting involved with my H...hence his Ds. I told her about D's problems and told her though I was stepping aside for her I couldn't do it until I knew that my D was able to handle it...since her emotional state is so fragile. OW agreed that our D should come first. She called H and said that she wanted to step aside so that he could concentrate on family. They agreed to 2 months of no contact. <P>H left 2 days later for Hawaii for a field problem (he's in the military). Called me the first 4 days he was gone. Sounded surprised that I had written him so many letters...a habit I let lapse over the past few years. Told him I loved him and that I missed him....he then told me he loved me and really missed us...something that he has not said for 3 months. I didn't know how to take it. He sounded so sad. I know that he was feeling withdrawal from OW...and I thought maybe he just said it out of pain. But he also told me that he was looking forward to our next counseling session, hoping that it will bring more stuff to light. That I took as encouraging.<P>Well, H called yesterday. Just making small talk...then he confessed that he broke down and called her. Told me that he guessed that he didn't have any willpower. Told me that OW said that she was hoping to hear from him and that she couldn't say that she would step aside again. H says that is his sign that their relationship is back on.<P>Now I don't know what to expect. I don't know whether or not he wants to continue counseling,having sex, and going out on our dates. Though after he told me about phone call with her he did say that he really missed talking to me...since our conversation skills have drastically improved since he asked for the divorce. In fact that is one of the things he said attracted him to OW...their conversations. <P>I know that I have 5 months left with him before he seperates from me...we agreed to live together until we move from here. Though during this time they are going to carry on an EA via phone. Is there any hope for us? I'm so confused...and hurt.

Sweetheart, if you think you are confused...just look at your poor H!!!<P>The man is very confused & unsure what he wants...this means you are doing pretty well.<P>So, I'd say where you are is back where you were before these last developments...kepp up the conversations & dates, forget OW exists for the next few months. She is not relevant, OK? Just work on YOUR relationship to your H and forget about her for a couple of months...<P>Hang in there--<P>Kathi