Hi, New here. I am the bad guy. I cheated on my wife emotionally, and physically. Yes it is easy to do, for the "right reasons". After reading one of Dr. Harleys' books, I do understand things a bit more now on how a relationship should be. Things they never taught you in school, and I never learned from my parents. I am not here trying to be exonerated for my actions. I do want to say that I do have a better understanding of how things turned out the way they did, because I was not honest about my emotions with my wife, and didn't tell her how I felt, because I thought I was protecting her, since she was dealing with a lot of personal issues. That set me up to feel lonely, abandoned, and didn't give her chance to meet my emotional needs. I short changed her and need to rebuild trust. I know it will not be easy. <BR>Well, I hope we can find the support we need here. <BR>

Welcome <B>solarbath</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P>Equally approriate for Wayward Spouses(WS) like yourself... as well as Faithful Spouses(FS).<P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

NSR<BR>Thanks for the newbie stuff. It helps. <BR>It has been 2 months since she found out. An off chance e-mail. And I was still flirting on the net, but have curbed my inclination to do anymore flirting. I do really want it to work. <BR>It was funny reading SAA. A lot of things outlined make sense. <BR>We went on a little weekend outing and got away from everyone. It was a very positive thing for me. But LB's seem to follow and what was banked were quickly eaten up. She is still angry, and I know she has to work through it. <BR>I did include my wife on the newsletter, and know she will see my post. I really want things to workout, and am sorry for the pain I have caused her. I did give her my e-mail password, but changed it after she called me and questioned me about a few of the e-mails, and LBs were everywhere. I do understand her anger, and distrust. I know I have to take responsability for what I did, and take the pain. <P><p>[This message has been edited by solarbath (edited January 16, 2001).]

Hi Solarbath,<P>Just wanted to welcome you and tell you I'm glad you found us. Has your wife read SAA?<P>There are a lot of us here that have been helped tremendously by those of you who post here that are the betrayers (sorry, that word sounds sort of harsh). It sure helped me a lot when I first came here to be able to understand things from the other perspective.<P>You may want to give her your new e mail password. One of Dr. Harleys principles is total honesty. Maybe it will also help you stay away from the computer flirtations if you know your wife will see that you've been doing this.<P>Hope your wife checks in. There is a lot of info to be found here, and if you're both willing to work on your marriage this is a great path to take. I think it'll take the guesswork out of it and give you a good solid plan.<P>Good luck, post often.<P>allison<BR>