This may be something you all know already (old news). But to me, it had been VERY eye opening. <P>I was having a discussion with a friend today. He's one of those people we all know who doesn't understand my Plan Aing. His take on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254-3.html" TARGET=_blank>my situation</A> is, "She's treating you like sh-t, dump her!" While trying to explain to him my persistence and/or commitment to a woman who really <I>is</I> treating me like sh-t, I found myself defining marriage in a way I'd never been able to before. It goes like this...<P>When we decide to marry, we're telling that person that we want to live with them forever. We're saying we want to raise a family (bring new lives into the world) with them. We marry because a more casual relationship provides no security for the huge undertaking we are proposing. It's like saying "You are someone whom I know well, but you'll change over the years. So will I. There may be a time when we hurt each other, even hate each other. But since we're saying we want to be together forever, and bring children into the world, I PROMISE YOU THAT NO MATTER WHAT, I'LL ALWAYS TRY TO IMPROVE\PROTECT OUR MARRIAGE AND OUR LOVE. EVEN IF YOU HURT ME DEEPLY, I'LL GET MYSELF UP AND FIND A WAY TO LOVE YOU AGAIN. EVEN IF I FIND MYSELF HATING YOU, I'LL FIND A WAY TO REGAIN OUR LOVE. IF I FAIL, I'LL TRY AGAIN. IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, I'LL TRY YET AGAIN."<P>If this isn't a promise we're willing to make when we get married, what's the point of marriage? I told my friend that I'm working on my marriage because that's what I promised to do. There's too much at stake in a marriage/family to just say, "This is too hard, I give up." If we were just dating...fine, give up! But we're not. We're married.<P>The Greek language has 3 words for love.<BR>Eros - The physical, sexual kind of love.<BR>Phileo - Friendship love that brings two people mutual satisfaction through affectionately sharing the joys and sorrows of life.<BR>and Agape.<BR>This is a love that unconditionally and unselfishly seeks the highest good of the one being loved. Agape love is an active decision of the will to keep on loving a person consistently in spite of that person's imperfections and irritating idiosyncrasies. God demonstrated His own agape love for us in that "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)<P>Agape is why/how I still love my wife. It's why I'm still trying. It's why <I>I</I> haven't filed for divorce.<P>Again, I'm sorry if this is old new to any of you. But for me, it really helps understand my own actions and my own drive. It also helps me keep that drive alive.<P>------------------<BR>Bill<BR>~~~~<BR>Remember the truth that once was spoken, "To love another person is to see the face of God."
