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<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>
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OOOO, I wish I could expain to you what it means, but I think it must go under the heading of don't try to understand them as they can't understand themselves.<P>I think you have to just go back to the basics and know what you want and what your feelings are and act accordingly. If you still love her, continue to show her your love and faith and do not respond to her negaative outbursts. Do what you feel you need to do to be a strong and supportive spouse and let her deal with her own stuff.<P>All you can do at this point is be strong and wait. Don't you hate that?<BR>Lora
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Hello,<P> The part about "Give me time to heal and you will know when you look at her"<BR> Is your W the WS? I used to talk to the alien in my H when he was in the fog. I asked the alien Where is my H. He answered " I don't know but you will recognize him when he comes back. They are gone you know. My H is back.(head wise) Physicaly(SP) he never left.<P>------------------<BR>Deb
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OOOO,<P>check Rick37's thread "Should I sit tight?" on this forum. Read the response from Whodat. Its not the same situation but you may find it very helpful.<BR>cleo
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OOOO,<P>Plan B is not a response to anything that your spouse does. It's meant as a way to save your love for your spouse, when their account is dropping in your lovebank. It's also a means to apply pressure for the OP to meet all of your spouse's needs, although that's a secondary aspect.<P>Based on what she said, she's sticking one toe (her little one) in the marital waters, and seeing what it's like. If you have the patience, I'd continue with the loving Plan A. Let her understand that you appreciate how she feels right now, and that you will continue to treat her with the love and respect that she deserves as your wife. Coax her back into the marriage "pool"---you can always throw the hairdryer in later on... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif)
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<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>
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K<P> That is funny!!! Coax her into the marriage pool...you can always throw the hairdryer in later!!! I LOVE THAT!!!<P>------------------<BR>Deb
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OOOO - I don't have any advice to add, but I can tell you I hear similarly contradictory statements. I know one of my failings is trying to understand their irrational statements as if they're being spoken by a rational mind. Sometimes I wish that my wife would just speak gibberish so that I wouldn't pay attention. Maybe we should just refer to it as fog-speak.<P>Dave
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Your wife's fog will lift one way or another if she sees that you are serious about divorcing her unless she recommits to being your wife emotionally and physically.
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K-- see what I mean!! A wealth of MB information but told in such a way you just can't ignore it!! LOL That was a great answer.<P>OffOnOnOff- Please understand that while your w is still in this fog, you can't take much that she says to heart. Believe me, that fog hangs around much longer than you'd think. The bad and the good changes day by day, sometimes hour by hour or min by min. I didn't know my H was involved with anyone else so I merely accepted the fact that I may be going crazy. He was talking another language and neither of us are bilingual!
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Dear OffOnOnOff,<BR>my heart goes out to you because I am in EXACTLY the same situation.<BR>No physical intimacy with my wife since the affair ended two months ago, she had a hysterical fit last week just because I tried to touch her. <BR>She talked about staying together for the rest of her lives on Sunday, then about divorcing on Monday.
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<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>
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