My husband and I got in a confrontation about our kids,who are 3 and 8 (oldest child is not his) and I was upset with the youngest, I had picked him up and dropped him to the floor, by his father, he was dropped maybe a foot from the floor, my husband got up and slapped me across the face as hard as he could. after he had slapped me, I am unable to hear outta that ear, I had gone to the dr. 20 min after it had happened and he said that I had a hole in my ear drum. This is the first time I have ever been hit by my husband, but I am so broken hearted and confused, and shocked at what he has done. I dont know whether if I should report it or not.

In my book, no man has the right to hit their wife. Regardless of what she may have done or did not do, striking your wife is abuse. In my marriage, I have never raised my hand to my wife. She has in a fit of rage struck me (it was like getting hit by a fly), but, I still did not raise my hand against her. I do feel that a man does have the right to defend himself if harm could be inflicted by the wife. Otherwise, no hitting. <P>A few things you may want to consider doing. 1) Have the incident documented - doctor appointment and check with your local court house for domestic violence case workers.<BR>2) Both need to get into counseling. He has hit you once and if there is no remorse for doing it, it will happen again. <BR>3) Let him know that your feelings of what he did and that it is not to happen again. Talk to him in love on this, do not be demanding.<P>My prayers are with you both. Take care and God Bless.<P>

Strawberri,<P>While I won't excuse your husband's behavior for one second, I'd ask you if you're guilty of child abuse for "throwing" your child to the floor in anger.<P>Now, I really don't know what happened, but I'd suggest that you realistically look at this through your husband's eyes. It sounds like you both have anger issues that need to be resolved immediately, and I would suggest counseling for this. Based on the fact that this has never happened before by your husband, I'd consider it an isolated incident (unless he's been verbally abusive and it's been escalating resently).<P>

Strawberri,<P>The hole in the ear is the classic abused wife signal to a doctor. It happens when one it slapped upside the head, like your H did to you. It's called abused wife syndrome by doctors.<P>I'm surprised the doctor did not turn your husband in for that. They are required by law to. Yes you were abused!!!<P>You 2 should start marriage counseling and anger management.<P>Sorry this is happening to you.

I have to agree with K. You're husband has anger problems, and there is never a reason to hit you AT ALL. But what is the reason for you "dropping" your son? You both need to seriously work on these issues, because the anger NEVER gets better, it only escalates. And children are the innocent victims in all of this.

I agree with K and Kayleigh . He should not have hit you, however you should not have dropped your child to the floor like that. You would be surprised how easy it is to injure a child. <P>If you are irratated the 3 year old hand him to his father. But please do not drop him that way again. That would be considered abuse to the child in most states.<P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

No one has the right to smack you across the face as hard as they can....under any circumstances. He must have really smacked you hard to put an hole in your eardrum. <P>Don't wait around for it to happen again, because rest assured it will happen again. He needs to get help. Violence is not the answer ever. The next time you behave in an unsatisfactory manner, you man wind up deaf.<P>Get him out of the house if he won't get help. And under no circumstances, think you deserved to have your eardrum punctured. <P>

I am not goin to try and defend either of us, as for "throwing" I did not do that, its kinda hard to explain, my child was on his feet when it happened, and he landed on his feet, he never got hurt, But as for tryin to make a point to my Husband on how bad he can be in a blink of an eye, is just impossible, because My oldest son is not his, he thinks that he can treat him bad, he just basically ignores him, which I find unfair, I mean I treat both my kids equal when it comes to them, but since my husband has been with me, which is probably as long as how old my oldest one is, He only gives attention to my little one, which I find unfair. I did not mean if any to hurt my youngest one in anyway, and using him like that was wrong I know. I love my kids with all my heart, and I would not do anything to hurt them. As for hubby, I am still not to sure what I am gonna do with him yet, him and I have talked and what he did was uncalled for and he knows that, My husband is NOT a violent person at all. So what ever triggered this, I have told him that he needs to talk to me, or atleast to someone when something is bothering him. I would like to thank you guys for posting your input on my problem.

strayberri,<P>You asked what triggered his response. How about harming his child??? You say you never intended to hurt the child, and you may not have hurt the child, but your H didn't know that.<P>He can say he never intended to hurt you, does that make it right? No.<P>But, I will say this and I know I will get flamed for it. I have never ever struck my wife or even threatened to, but if she had attempted to harm one of our children, I would have done whatever it took. I mean physical violence of the sort she has never seen. No questions asked, none needed.<P>My W has never mistreated any of our children, nor have I. But you are treading in some very dangerous waters, using your child in the manner you did. You could have been charged with child abuse.<P>So why don't the both of you seek some counseling. You both have anger issues and the children are in the middle, exactly where they shouldn't be.<P>God Bless You and Your Family,<P>JL