Have'nt been around...but thought I would "Pop In" and say HI!!! and a million thanks, you guys saved my LIFE!! My marriage is better than ever.(wheather you remember me or not, I will never forget you guys)<P>For all who are in the thick of it...hang in there, hang around here, and LISTEN to these people!!! THERE IS SUCCESS if you want it!<p>[This message has been edited by dumone (edited January 19, 2001).]

Thank-you so much.<P>But you're so brief, how about a longer update? What's up?

I can't type for crap so it takes awhile...Life is good! My wife and I are doing better than ever. She is a great women, wife and friend. Wise beyond her years. It has taken me this past year to finely see that. I am the one that has alot to learn, all the while I thought it was the other way around. Anyway, this past year was a wake up call for us both and our marriage. We have been getting along great, dating, playing, planning, etc. I've changed for the better, so has she and we are working on us.<BR>Anything in particular you want to know?

Oh my, I hope I'm not to late to catch you! I've been wondering how you are! I am thrilled to here this update!<P>It is obvious that you changed your attitude and you deserve a tremendous amount of credit. It isn't easy and not many actually do it. <P>It is too easy to label our spouse as a Home Improvement Project!<P>I do have a question...I always do...<P>Is there anything you read here or anywhere else or anything in your real life that really made a difference? What specifically finally struck your heart?<P>Take care

I was hoping I would here from you! I dont think there was anything in particular...I think it was/is a combination of things.<P>First, I knew the whole thing was wrong. Second, I printed out alot of info and input from people here regarding me and other people in similar situations, and read it over and over, particularly when I got certain urges. My religion came into play here as well. I mean, I'm not a born again Christian but I do have stong convictions in God(he has been there for me too many times to be coincidental) I read and continue to read over and over HNHN, The Myth of Greener Grass and "The Book", all three are a neccessity for life and relationships. I am a product of my past, so I also continue to go to my "Head Doctor" to work thru MY issues. <P>So, you see there wasn't/isn't any one thing that "did it" for me. The info and genuine concern I got from you and others here was without question paramount in my choice of direction and outcome of the whole situation. I truly am thankful. <P>Life is not a bed of roses by any means for me, you need to control your thoughts, know your boundries and make that "choice" to be happy and love and be committed to your spouse. The opportunities and temptation is always there, I just have a different view on it now, and it took this past year to change me. It is pretty shocking to see just how rampant infidelity is out there. Just this past weekend my wife and I went to a sweet 16 birthday party that was thrown by the parents of one my Daughters friends. Parents invited. Anyway, one of the mothers who is a mutual aquaintance of my wife and I, and we knew that she was having some trouble at home, was a little more freindly than she should have been, thanks to the alcohol. Well, my wife and I mutually saw and talked about what she was doing with me. In the past I would have ate it up and dismissed anything my wife would have said. My ego fed on it. Now...I felt bad for her and her husband, and what the future might hold in store for them and their kids because she was looking for an affair.<P>Anyway, this is long enough! I'll see you. Thanks again.<BR>

Good for you dumone!! I am so glad to hear that things are going so well. It's like having a breath of fresh air, isn't it? I wish you continued success.<P>take care,<BR>cleo

Yeah it is!...it takes two to make it work though. I had forgotten what being happy felt like.

Good to hear you are doing well, dumone.