{{{{{{{{wassi))))))))))<P>Sorry I am a bit late here but I haven't replied to many posts here lately. I was so sorry to hear of your latest disappointments with Mr. W. I do wish I could have been of some help to the both of you. I don't know what kind of hold the OW has over him, but he is going to have to be the one to cut the ties. I just wish I could make him see that what he is doing is hurtful to you and your family, and slowely, day by day, destroying him also. I know one day he will wake up and see that, I just hope it is soon. Peppermint and I will be here for you now and always as long as you need us.<P>We are thinking of you each night and hoping and praying things will works out for you.<P>..........fs<P>I had to edit this. I can't spell nor type!!!<p>[This message has been edited by firestorm (edited January 23, 2001).]

Hi Wassi,<P><BR>I hope you are doing well. I think about all of you so much in my down time in the car. I care for so many women on this board. Too bad I can not shake some thoughtfulness into your H for you. My cat Abby sends her love as well. (She is named for Abigale Adams who I think is one of the founders of the women's rights movement) When ever I am at home on the computer working she loves to help. <P>Cyber hug from the both of us ((((((((((((((((((((((wassi))))))))))))))<P>Thanks for asking about me. He will not move out. I am giving it a couple more months. I went on a second job interview today and pray that I get it. I need to leave my job now.

firestorm<BR> <BR>so nice to see you.<BR>This hold is obviously much bigger than I ever imagined. Until three days ago I was under the impression that he had called her maybe 15-20 times in 2 years. Now I know it was at least once a day? Big, big thing for me to grasp. I just can't seem to get a concept of that level of deceit. He knew every time he dialed that phone that I hated the thought of them talking.<BR>Thank you for caring.<BR>I don't think he will ever own this.<P>Paha<BR>{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} back at you.<BR>I have two wonderful cats so I really appreciate you sharing yours with me.<P>I am slowly letting this sink in. Not sure what I can do with it. <BR>At least I understand a little more about how very attached they were to each other. Now I think I see why no-contact was so impossible....and may always be. <BR>I am not going there now. Too much practice in this. I know I'm not ready to deal with the future yet. <BR>My brother is having an auto transplant on Friday so my mind is in two hundred different places. Not much of it left to go that far.

HI Wassi, first let me give you a hug. I have been wondering where you were hiding?My puter keeps d/cing itself and DH thinks that visiting this site makes me edgy? Imagine that! (for those of you that forget, DH is either DearHusband or ****head, depending on his behavior and my mood)<BR>Start by saying I had to send some hugs before reading pgs 2 and 3. Will go there next.<BR>Given this new turn, and not having caught up, I vote for detach mode.<BR>(((((wassi)))))

{{{{{{{{{wassi}}}}}}}}}<P>I really don't know what to say, but one of your comments struck me... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I know that before he met her he very rarely lied to me<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>The secrecy implied in betrayal is very powerful. I can relate to your comment above. Before OM, my W was so adverse to lying that she would sometimes rely on me to tell white lies about unimportant things like excuses to avoid social events, etc. Before OM, she couldn't lie to save her own life. This is one aspect of this nightmare that I truly do not comprehend.<P>No human being would knowingly inflict the hurt that you are being given. He isn't doing this intentionally, but knowing that doesn't lessen the pain and shouldn't change any decisions you make, but it does hurt just the same. I wish I had some kind of sage advice, but I don't, only empathy.....

HI Wassi,<BR>Alright, I have been thru pg 2.<BR>What is it with these betrayers and not being able to figure out what the 'whole truth' means? Seems it is universal....<BR>Very sad indeed. <BR>(Mine still cannot figure out how I could turn down a wonderful job offer-just what I wanted with great money. Gee, maybe because it was in the same town as an OW? Now, for all betrayeds, is this really hard to understand?)<BR>When they tell the truth, they are facing it also. This makes it quite unbearable for them-not only do they have to say it....but you are looking at them, astonished and totally upset, probably near hysteria, so they have to deal with their own feelings and with yours. <BR>Wassi, until he faces the entire truth, how can he share it all? To him it was merely a friendship.....he has yet to understand the depth of his actions. <BR>Just as DH still does not understand the depth of his infidelity. <BR>It is not US wassi. It never was about US. It is them. They have to grow from this, they have to search their souls.<BR>(((((wassi)))))

{{{{{{{{{{{{WASSI}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Just a hug letting you know I'm still thinking of you...<P>Bill

HI Wassi, Okay, have finished reading.....<BR>how did the hockey ref make out? <BR>Advice from me is to be very careful what you ask because you might not like the answer. And, the truth does not always set you free. <P>What I am reminding you of is something we talked abt a longgggggg time ago. Gads, seems like yrs?! <P>WHY does it really matter how many times he talked to her and where? <BR>I am playing the devils advocate here..okay? He talked to her. We know that. And he had a relationship with her that was wrong. He lied for a long time abt the whole thing. You knew he had an attachment to her, so why does it matter how many times and where he called her? <BR>You also know that the truth to you is very different than the truth to him. You do not see this in the same light. He is seeing friendship with occ sex thrown in. You are seeing a serious relationship, maybe love?, with sex and a friendship that only a husband and wife have. <BR>Wassi, you do not need to know these details to heal. They will not help you move on my dear. Think about that just a bit? <BR>Hugs for you and your son. Aloha, cl

Lori<BR>Duhhhhh!<BR>I looked really rude not replying before but I chatted and e-mailed you. So... .....sorry.<P>cl<BR>I love you!<BR>You have mail.<BR>I did need to know because he would volunteer nothing. DH at least volunteered something to you. I got this info while watching my back...and doing those darn books again. <BR>I can't accept this. The affair I could accept. Bad brain...you know.<BR>This was deliberate betrayal..no matter how old it is. And then he wouldn't fess up..and then all this time he has been justifying and excusing this? There is no real remorse here. Just covering his A#@ for two years.<BR>BTW...the ref is okay but the other parents at the parent meeting ..whew...they were in shock.<P>Heartpain<BR>Seeing your name means everything. Don't worry about sage advice...there is none.<BR>I want the man I married back. And I want the bimbo to have just a little taste of what this feels like. But she won't. She doesn't care about anyone but her. I think my H is starting to see that. Too little too late?<P>Bill<BR>Thank you for thinking of me.<BR>I wish ...I wish...I wish...you know what I wish for all of us.