Well, I'm definately one of the candidates for the shortest Plan A/Plan B ever. <BR>Quick run up of history...I'm the BS, married 3 yrs, go to visit my grandmother on her deathbed, WS parties /w wrong crowd, drinks, drugs, and does the bad thing we all call infidelity.<P>Well, I may not be well accepted with my experiences in a support forum, but just want to toss some things out there to think about.<P>1.) When doing your Plan A, set a deadline and stick to it, possibly push it a bit earlier depending on the situation but never extend it. Base the length of Plan A on 2 things: kids and history. A good guidline I found is 1 week for each year, and well can't speak for kids so you'll need to figure it out.<P>2.) Plan B. Well I modified mine...going by emotional needs and the info on this site, I did a lot of comparing WS to other girls to see who would end up fulfilling mine best and vice versa. It doesn't hurt to have some groundwork and preperation done.<P>3.) After both plans: well guess what? All of a sudden you're in control again...maybe a bit battered by the experience but ready to lead a new healthy relationship either with the WS come back or someone new.<P>Some side notes: <P>a.) Take necessary precautions...get rid of all joint accounts, cancel/lock creditcards, and secure the things you really want to keep in the event of a divorce. A good strategy is taking something like that and giving it to a good friend as a gift (or selling it for a minimal price) until the divorce is finalized.<P>b.) Believe it or not there always is someone better out there, perhaps you set your standards too low at the time of marriage, perhaps afer reading all these books and the experience of an A made you more picky. In my example, I'm starting to date an intelligent actress...go figure that such a woman seemed unapproachable to me at the time I was married. <P>c.) Trust in fate. People always get what they deserve sooner or later. Stay true to yourself, do what you know you can, and what you are prepared to do. Don't let a WS kick you in the nuts when you're trying for a Plan A, control yourself but make it clear as to where you stand. After all keep the rule of honesty in mind which also means you have to be honest with yourself.<P>d.) I do believe in a thing called self-control (and yes I know the Doc doesn't). In fact I am ashamed of some of my fellow men, who can't control anger, overindulge, and try to sleep with any woman that trys to treat them with respect. And yes I'm pretty ashamed of many women as well for the way they behave. If you have a problem controlling something, that's what your partner and in extreme cases therapy should be there for. <P>e.) Think for yourself a bit. I can say wholeheartedly that I've had my emotianal rollercoaster ride, my mood swings, my crappy and "fake" happy days. Everyone here is a great person, I've seen endurance here that I hope I can achieve one day. If you've just heard about an A, well you're in for the soul searching of your life, but make sure to tie ALL loose ends and resolve your inner conflicts before going on. <P>Just my 2 cents on what I've discovered in life and from this site. Read the books, but stay yourself, easier said than done...and sort of my new motto <P>Cheers guys and gals And thanks for being there