Do men and women cheat for the same reasons? Do men cheat because it is the nature of the beast? How do you fall out of love with someone? Do you convince yourself that you no longer are in love despite the fact that your partner loves you?

I can tell you why I did... My husband, although a wonderful person, is very controlling and type A.. while I'm very laid back. He wants the house "just so".. God forbid I leave a light on when I leave the room, etc etc... We both work full time, and have two kids. He works shift work and is gone a lot (13 hour days when he works), so the burden is on me.. I take the kids to school, pick them up (95% of the time), take my daughter to piano lessons, Cook (100%), clean the house, etc... He does do laundry sometimes, washes dishes, etc, but not near what I do. On top of all that, he wants constant attention from me. Notes, surprises, etc. If I don't do something he thinks I should have done, he gets mad and "pouts."<P>I have walked on eggshells during our entire 13 year marriage. Is he going to get mad because of this or that? Should I have called him? (The other day, he was home with my son who was sick.. I got to work at 7:30, and called home at 9:00) He was mad because I didn't call sooner. I can never please him.... all this, I still love him very much.<P>When I met the OM, I discovered a comfort that I hadn't known in years. I could totally be myself with him. There was no passionate sex, although there was sex a couple of times, but the number one reason we met was to talk, and just enjoy each other's company. I could talk to him about anything. I'm interested in politics, my husband isn't... when I was watching the presidential election, he became frustrated.. I cared more about that than him. <P>I never realized how incredibly emotionally exhausted I was, trying to please my husband, and be a superwoman too. I didn't have to do that with the OM.. and although I wasn't in love with the OM.. not that flitty romance that typically happens.. I cared for him very much and could definitely imagine a life with him.<P>Doing that was wrong, but I loved my husband, but needed the comfort of someone else. I shouldn't have done that.. I should have told my husband how I felt ( I have, but not in a forceful way, given my personality). I should have chosen another way, but I was drawn into it, and couldn't stop. He found out, and of course, was devastated. We were working hard on things for a while, but have backslidden.<P>That's how it happened to me.