Jim (or anyone),<P>Earlier I posted that my wife and I had a long talk. It appears to me that we are close to splitting up (she doesn't want to try anymore). However, she did agree to read SAA and said it would be her last attempt at "trying." You had mentioned that we all know a book won't change life and suggested I introduce her to this forum. I thought (and still do) that it was a great idea. I know that this place has been a great support for me and would be for her (regardless of her decision to try or not). So, I showed her how to get here, how to register and navigate the board. She spent about an hour looking through my past posts that night. At first I was nervous about that. I've posted here at times of anger and depression. I wasn't sure If she'd find something rude and disrespectful. After she went to bed, I got back on and looked through the same stuff. It was great. Most everything I've posted here was written with love and respect for my wife, even though when I wrote it, I didn't consider the possibility that she might read it someday. I was very proud of myself and saw first hand the changes in me since I started MBing (working with the Marriage Builders info).<P>My concern is, sometimes I come here to get input on my thoughts and actions. Things like, "I'm worried about <I>this</I>. Should I bring it up with my W or just leave it alone?" Well, she reads my posts now (Hi honey! Jim, this is my wife . Honey, this is Jim , a.k.a. NSR) which is fine with me. I'm glad to have her here reading about my work and love for her. I hope she posts some of her own stuff and gets the same support I've found. But how do I run stuff by y'all like the above example without LBing. If I ask "Should I bring <I>this</I> up?" and the responses say "no", well, I've brought it up anyway just by posting.<P>I'm just not sure how to do this.<P>------------------<BR>Bill<BR>~~~~<BR>Remember the truth that once was spoken, "To love another person is to see the face of God."

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Hi wld,<P>I haven't been on all that much as of late...<BR>...so busy with a new job...<BR>...(and it is a hard one at that)<P>--------------------------------------------<P>Hi wld's wife... <P>Welcome to this forum...<BR>...for more info on what this forum is all about check a post I wrote a while back...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><BR>It'll help you navigate through the most frequently accessed sites/posts.<P>We are here only to help and support everyone who comes here...<BR>..."wayward spouses"... "non-waywards"...<BR>...and the occasional "other person".<P>Do check out a post I used to manage for a perspective of whether these MB principles are effective...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000554.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A>... in particular the "Success Stories"!<P>Please give it some to "sink" in...<BR>Please don't blow us off...<BR>...we harbor no resentment toward anyone...<BR>...and just want to offer advice...<BR>...from people who have been here on <B>all</B> sides of the fence.<P> <P>Jim<P>---------------------------------------<P>wld...about your post:<P>It is good that your W is interested...<BR>...but she too needs to realize that when a spouse gets confused and seeks advice...<BR>...that the gush of emotion causes a misue/abuse of words that might not be intended.<P>Writing often doesn't carry the same emotion as speaking... (no body language here)...<BR>...sometime to the detriment to the information.<P>In any case...<BR>...I would recommend that you two come to an agreement on Internet posting.<P>Another option is going through private e-mail for those "sensitive" issues...<BR>...men have them<BR>...so do women!<P>So... if you could limit those e-mails to same-sex posters...<BR>...and your W can agree to that...<BR>...it could help both of you out... when stumbling blocks lead to that discreet kind of help.<P>Do check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000555.html" TARGET=_blank>Roll Call Index</A> for a list of members who do offer their e-mails.<P> <P>Jim

Thanks Jim. That helps.