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Re: For a woman...EA or PA which is worse?
#900394 01/27/01 01:18 AM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 108
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Nduli Offline
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Nduli
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N Offline
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 108
Ditto that. My H at first wanted a divorce due to the EA he was having. Actually he wanted a seperation first for six months so he could try out the OW and then decide if he wanted to divorce.<P>That hurt more than I think just a plain old affair would have. Had he just fooled around and then wanted to stay married I'd be handling this so much better.<P>Sure he came back to try and fix things but I still feel like second best.<P>(In answer to the question. To me an EA hurts more. Plain animal lust I could forgive and understand but him giving his emotions and heart to another I just can't)<p>[This message has been edited by Nduli (edited January 26, 2001).]
Re: For a woman...EA or PA which is worse?
#900395 01/26/01 07:22 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 867
Nampa, Idaho, USA
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Bernzini Offline
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Bernzini
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Nampa, Idaho, USA
My husband wanted to do the same--separate so that he could enjoy his fling with Miss Kitty (I didn't know at the time that he was involved with her--he just announced Christmas morning that he was taking off, bye, and left me crying and wondering what in God's name I did.) When I kept saying "If you are going to divorce me, hurry up and do it!" He said, "Oh, you want a divorce, huh? It's either black or white to you, isn't it?" Therefore, it was my fault that we were supposedly divorcing. And it is now.<P>He has no regrets, no remorse over this. Well, if he has, I guess, he hasn't expressed them to me. And if he has, it's because things are so complicated for him--he has to go through the process of destroying two families to get what he wants--how messy and inconvenient. Therefore, HE is the victim. (He told me this flat out.)
Re: For a woman...EA or PA which is worse?
#900396 01/26/01 08:41 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 108
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Nduli Offline
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Nduli
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Posts: 108
My H has since given up the idea of seperation and has agreed that our marriage is worth trying to save. Whether this is from guilt or because he genuinely missed me when he was gone(he said so one night) remains to be seen. He's trying I'll give him that much.<P>I hope you make it through your divorce okay. I can imagine how painful it must be for you.
Re: For a woman...EA or PA which is worse?
#900397 01/28/01 09:51 AM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 229
Augusta, Me, USA
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mbtrk
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mbtrk
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Posts: 229
Augusta, Me, USA
Hi All,<BR>How is ot that you know that the "fog" has lifted and that some sense of normalcy is starting to return???<P>My wifes main complaint is that she is not in love with me. She doesn't see any reason to stay unless she is in love with me and that...she says...will never happen again. I'm not the right person for her.<P>How is it that you get your spouse to see that there is hope and if they would try...the job of getting back to a wonderful marriage is so much easier with two. <P>How is it that you know when the EA is over when they work together on a regular basis?<P>I am so confused about this whole thing. I know it won't happen over night, but some sign would be nice...but I guess it's too soon to hope for that.<P>~Mike~
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