I'm at a loss over what to do. Yesterday was the Chinese New Year, the Year of the Snake. Since H was born in that year and loves Chinese food, I sent him an e-card inviting him to join me at a local Chinese restaurant after my evening class, to celebrate the Year of the Snake. He accepted, we had a great time; the evening was a complete success. PROBLEM... every time we have a special moment together, I can guarantee you he will be cold and withdrawn the next morning. And sure enough he was. He says it's over with OW but he still works with her since she is his secretary(she also is the secretary of the CEO so he can't just get rid of her w/out the CEO wondering why)<P>I get so tired sometimes. It seems for every step forward I take, I fall back three. Do I just stop creating times that show him how much he means to me? Is it worth the hurt the next day when he treats me so cold? <P>Sorry, for the self-pity routine. It's been a long day at school. Being among college students the age of my kids and struggling to keep up there and struggling to keep my marriage; sometimes I just get down.<P>Tomorrow's another day. I always try to start it by looking for my rainbow!!!

Aries55,<P>I think you are misinterpretting his response. Here is my guess at what is going on in his mind. He enjoyed the evening throughly, he liked being with you, he is reminded of all that is good about you and your relationship with him. BUT he is also reminded of what he did and he feels very guilt and depressed by his actions.<P>So the next day, it is like a hangover. He enjoyed the party, but the price is he doesn't feel very good about himself the next day. <P>I think you should keep doing it if you enjoy the times and he does as well. My guess is that he will get better as he withdraws from her. That will take time because of course he sees her everyday. <P>Hope this helps.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Aries55,<P>Here's another thought. Somewhere in his mind, he may still be trying to justify his actions. If you're a bummer to be around, he's got all the justification he needs. But, if he finds himself enjoying time with you, he's lost that justification. His response to that is to be cr-ppy to you with the intent of getting a negative response to his behavior from you. Poof, he's got is justification back again.<P>This usually happens when the A is still going on, but it <I>could</I> be an answer in your case too. Don't let his moods change yours (easier said than done, I'm struggling with the same stuff). Focus on the kind of W you want to be and be it! Keep coming here!! The support you get her can really turn your day and mood around. Believe me. I started out today <B>very</B> depressed. After posting and reading some caring responses, I'm feeling a lot better. So don't apologize for dumping on us. That's what we're here for. Better to vent here than on him.<P>Your rainbow is there. Keep up the good work.<P>{{{{{{Aries55}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Bill<BR>~~~~<BR>Remember the truth that once was spoken, "To love another person is to see the face of God."