My wife and I have been separated since mid July. She was depressed and hurt by the way I had been neglecting her. I put everything else ahead or her and was critical of her ideas. I knew everything. I learned how much I didn't know the past 6+ months, and how much I truly love her. <BR>When she left, she decided to move in with the male half of a couple we were friends with. This couple was separating, he told his wife he was in love with My W. I honestly think now my W moved in with him not because she was interested in him, but needed a place to go to get herself together. I am not sure what happened between them, and I don't care so much about this as I care about her wanting to come back to me. In November she decided she was coming home moved most of her things back here and said this is where she belonged. before her things were moved in HE was put in Hospital for attemped suicide. My W went into Guilt mode and couldn't be talked out of helping him recover. She started staying with him again. Only moved a couple things back with her but is there now. This all put expected strain on us and I did not treat her well, was short with her and judgemental. Through all this our families continued to think we were back together, neither one of us corrected their ideas. Just played along, unspoken acceptance of this. <BR>For the last 7 weeks or so we have been getting along better and better. Our phone calls have been warm and playful,She has come for dinner etc. I chose not to hurt her any more. We have been getting together to pay the bills. She bailed me out with major car repair bill. I have been signing over paychecks from 2nd job to her. I still trust her not to take advantage of me. The money has gone into savings. I have made it a point to send her cards and let her know I want her back. On the phone she has been asking me to be patient,has also returned I love yous. She told me friday writing the bills out saturday was an excuse to come out by me. I told her she doesn't need to make excuses, I like having her with me.<BR>One thing that bothered her about moving away from His house is he owed her almost $4000 . All the money she has left. we both have run up bills during this time. She has said she wants her money back. He has paid her about $900. She asked if I can wait for him to pay her back, in about 2 weeks. His tax return and a work bonus will be more than enough. She said when she moved back before it was too soon, and she doesn't want to put me through that again. she can't put anyone through that again. She said she is afraid that if she moves away from him he will hurt himself. She said the only reason she has to stay is to get her money. She told me WE need that money I said we didn't have to have that money but if it was that important to her I can wait. We discussed some of our issues that pulled us apart. She said she needs to send letters to my family members that have caused her hurt feelings. Before I treated it as if you should'nt say anything to them. Now I see if she gets it out she can heal and she needs that. She said our biggest problem was me letting others hurt me and preventing her from defending herself from them. She wants to be able to tell them when they are out of line. She also ssid she is afraid she could never be forgiven for all she put me through, I said I had the same fear. I told her we will need to take things slowly, she said it will probably start slowly but doesn't think it will take long to be doing well. <BR>I am very hopeful, I do feel she is sincere. Still alot to work out, but we can do this together. I trust her, where we go from here will tell me alot.<P>Thanks to all of you here. .D.
