I've been searching this site for examples of no contact letters, I can't find any. Are there any? If so, where?

crete,<P>there have been several in this forum. try using the search feature on this website. Also, there is a good no contact letter in Dr. Harley's book, Surviving An Affair. <P>cleo

Crete -<P>I had to write a second "no contact letter." I posted it here a while ago, but then deleted it. I really don't want to post it again - just because I'd have to explain why I put certain things in there, but if you want me to email you a copy, let me know. skm_mb@hotmail.com. But, my first no contact letter was similar to the one in Surviving An Affair - but it didn't work in my case - so I had to send another.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by crete:<BR><B>I've been searching this site for examples of no contact letters, I can't find any. Are there any? If so, where?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>crete,<BR>After lurking for the past 5 months I will make my first posting. I am the bs and this is the letter my wife ws wrote. Reprinted with her permission. A modification of the SAA book.<P>10/3/00<P>@#$%%^,<P>I am writing this letter to let you know out respect to my husband and children, I have come to realize I must never see or talk with you again.<P>I am rebuilding my relationship with my husband and family and trying to regain all lost trust and love my husband has for me at this time. I care and love my husband and children and wish I could change my past actions, but that is impossible. I feel like I was searching for something I had all along.<P>The person I was the last six months is someone I would like to forget. The decisions I made and my actions were heavily influenced by alcohol. During this time I was not living up to the strong morals and values I normally hold myself accountable for. The lying, cheating, and unfaithfulness I put my friends, family and husband through is something I never want to do again. I can only pray that God, my husband, and my friends can forgive my actions and sins.<P>Please respect my decision, do not try and contact me in anyway EVER, and allow me to rebuild my life with my family.<P>WS

Crete<BR>Plan B is with the objective that you want your marriage to work. So is plan A. Plan B is not for getting any reactions, it is to protect what is left of your love for your wife.<BR>Plan B only works after you have done a perfect plan A, for about 6 months. Perfect plan A means you never annoyed your spouse, (no lovebusters) and you did meet the top 5 emotional needs for your spouse. Very few of us do perfect plan A's, but unless we have - our plan B efforts are very futile.<P>Remember the goal, to restore love and restore your marriage. If that isn't the goal, then it isn't plan B or plan A. It is reacting and being short sited - or it is about pride and not love.<P>TNT

Boy did I blow that one, sorry!<P>I had you mixed up with a betrayed husband, and I thought the no-contact letter had something to do with plan B letter. whoops,<BR>apologies!<P>TNT

I'm the WS.<P>I wasnt real sweet or understanding in my letter. In retrospect, I think if I had been that I would have felt sorry for him and had sympathy for him and that would have made the emotional attachment harder to break. He's the enemy and wants nothing more than to destroy my marriage and his own. I treated him accordingly. <P>I said something like the following:<P>"Get out of my life.<P>I love my husband. Love him more than you could possibly imagine. I have<BR>hurt him more than I can bear. It makes me sick to think about what I have<BR>done. I had an affair with you. It wasnt a friendship - it was an affair.<P>I want no contact from you ever again. I will not contact you ever again.<P>He knows everything - EVERYTHING. No half confessions this time to ease my<BR>guilt. I've laid it all on the table. I am NOT going to lose him.<P>I am going to heal my marriage and I am beginning with this letter.<P>You are no longer a part of my life."<P><BR>Worked for me anyway. Good luck to you.<BR>