As I mentioned in a post earlier today, my husband is in prison. I'm sure he is calling OW and writing letters. <P>I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should write to him. I've probably wrote a hundred letters and then tossed every one them. I feel like if I don't at least do SOMETHING....he will just forget me, because he has her now. But maybe if I write a letter here and there, it will keep him thinking about me too????<P>Anyone have any thoughts about what I should do????

So you want him back & still love him? If so, I would write him. I wouldn't go into alot of "us" talk in your letters. . .just make them simple about things that are going on in your life & let him know that you're thinking about him.<P>Did you read the information about Plan A yet? Is this what you want to do?

Oh, yes. I've been reading the information at this site for months now. <BR>And yes, I want to do plan A. But I'm just not quite sure how to go about doing it. I don't know, sometimes I feel really positive about things, then at other times I feel like I don't stand a chance, because if he really loved me and wanted to be with me he wouldn't have been with someone else.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>So you want him back & still love him?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You make it sound as though you think I shouldn't or that it is surprising that I do.<BR>Why is that?<P><p>[This message has been edited by johnnysgirl (edited January 31, 2001).]

johnnysgirl, no, no!! Sorry if I left you with the impression that you shouldn't still love him! That's not what I meant, I just got the impression from some of your posts that you weren't sure.<P>I guess all I was saying is it's not easy & if you weren't sure you should decide what you want before you do anything! Sorry!<P>Plan A, is about making you the best person you can be. It's about looking at yourself & your relationship and finding the things you could do better. Not exactly changing for him, but the things you want to change about yourself. For me, since this has happened, I've been doing a lot of self reflection and see things I did that 1)hurt him (nasty words when we fight 2) were not attractive to him, or anybody for that matter, myself included (insecurity, controlling, unrealistic expectations). Use this time to work on you and one of two things will happen, he'll notice the change in you and want to come back or if he doesn't you will be a much better, stronger person and you'll know you gave every effort you had and won't have any regrets.<P>So start writing him. Don't be mushy, or angry or questioning. Pretend she does not exist. Do you have children? If so talk about the children, talk about YOUR activities, your families, the neighborhood. Just let him know you're thinking about him & that you love him (just don't go overboard on the I love you stuff)!<P>Don't be discouraged if you don't hear back from him right away, just keep writing. It will make a difference to him.<P>Good luck, keep posting! And again, sorry about sounding harsh, didn't mean to!