Hi,<P>H told our kids last night that he doesn't love me the way he should so he didn't think it was a good idea for him to move home. (He had this conversation because of what happened the other night with my son)See yesterdays post.<P>He and I discussed the visitation schedule and he wants to have sleep overs during the week. I told him I had a problem with this if ow was still in the picture. I learned that she still wont see him and he is very unhappy about that. I asked him for his house key and ATM card and he gave them to me. On the bright side, I truly believe we had an honest conversation for the fist time in years. <P>Anyway, we still have to see each other because of our joint involvement in the boys activities. He just won't be coming here after to work to help with homework and hang out. I guess it is just a taste of what divorce would be like. <P>I asked if he was going to file for divorce and he said he wasn't planning on it. My guess is that if ow changes her mind and they start seeing each other again he will.<P>I imagine this will be an eye opener for him. He will get a taste of loneliness on the days he doesn't have the kids. <P>Anyway, I guess I just need a pep talk and if anyone can share how plan b worked for them.<P>Thanks for reading.

Hoping,<BR>You can't do anything about this, but it was poor modeling for your H to tell your boys that it is ok to leave your family if you fall out of love. But then, maybe there really isn't a good way to tell kids--and my oldest figured out about the affair, but that never bothered her as much as the fact that my H made promises to her that he broke as well.<P>I found a tough time for me was when my H had the kids. I felt really at loose ends. It was nice to have a few free evenings...but I discovered I didn't really have much to do when I'm not shepherding the kids through lessons, baths, events, homework, etc. Don't worry about your H's loneliness--he's chosen this path. Take care of you, intentionally set up some things to do.<P>Lor<p>[This message has been edited by Lor (Lor) (edited January 31, 2001).]

Hoping...<BR>My wife told our kids 3 weeks ago on a Saturday, then moved out on Sunday. She made it sound to them like a big adventure. Being 4 and 6, they really didn't understand what was happening. She has convinced them that having 2 houses is really nice!<P>I find that the time that the kids are with her are the times when I really despise what she is doing. I used to see the kids every day. I tucked them in to bed every night. She missed a lot of that because of her work schedule at the hospital. Not seeing them for 3 days is not that big a deal for her. It is devastating to me.<P>The silence in our house when they are gone is awful. I try to find things to keep me busy and I have been doing a pretty good job of it, but waking up in the morning and not having them there sucks. I have put my foot down on a lot of the visitation schedule. It was working out that I had the kids only on the days she worked. That meant that she never had to be alone without the kids. She now has some time where that is happening. I hope that it drives her nuts.<P>I wish I could tell you from experience that it gets better, but I can't because it hasn't for me. I keep praying that she will come home and restore our family but it seems she is on a path to not only destroy ours, but someone elses also. The scary part is that she sees nothing wrong with what she is doing.<P>Mike

.<p>[This message has been edited by Trying to move on (edited March 21, 2001).]