=Whew!=<P>Whoever said "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" was right.<P>In December, both of our elderly cats had to be euthanized within three weeks of each other due to kidney failure. I changed jobs. Our old car died and we had to take on car payments unexpectedly. My stepfather died. And my H was laid off.<P>That's the "Readers Digest Condensed Version."<P>Holidays? What holidays?<P>But where it gets interesting is this: H is back in touch with Dragon Lady. He has to, because he needs her as a job reference. However, he is doing this on a SHARED E-MAIL ACCOUNT (because his Compuserve account doesn't work on NT4). She is not calling the house, to the best of my knowledge. And he takes great pains to let me know where he is at any given time. Last week he went out in the evening to do a "dry run" finding an interview location for the next day. And he invited me to accompany him, so I wouldn't wonder why he was dashing out at night. Any mention of Dragon Lady is in the context of a job reference. <P>Things with us have remained solid, even thoughout all these crises. And what's even odder is that I don't even perceive Dragon Lady as a threat anymore, merely an annoyance.<P>I'm also done with therapy; my therapist is weaning me off since my stepdad is gone and I seem to be doing OK with dealing with my mom.<P>But something to think about: My mom is now all alone, having lost the husband of 24 years that she never appreciated. For three years I told her about this site, these boards, I loaned her HNHN and the Susan Page book, and her answer was always that HE was the problem and that she didn't want to have to do all the work on the relationship. And look where she is now...alone with her regrets. NOW she realizes how special she is.<P>All of you who are BS's, you know all about this already. Those of you who are WS's, or thinking about becoming WS's, think about it.

Hi Dazed, you seem to be handling all the unforseens pretty well, and I am sorry you have lost your stepdad. <P>Maybe you could tell your husband that a letter of reference is very important (can eliminate the need to stay in contact with the dragon?) I'm glad you are no longer feeling threatened by her, though, and I am even more happy that he is being considerate of your feelings in that area.<P>Gee, I'm gonna miss the ideas that you post you get from your therapist. <P>My life has gotten busier with a new job, husband says he understands the meaning of commitment more than he has ever understood, He bought a snowmobile and so he is out and about without me a lot more lately, so I realize this is a warning sign for me - so he bought me some snowmobiling clothes and we will be taking a snowmobile trip next weekend. I'm determined to get that 15 hours of time together in, some how or another!<P>I went to Washington DC this month and also to Chicago - and he is out of town this week on a conference, so getting 15 hours a week in becomes a priority to me, starting today.<P>I didn't have the tragedies and unforseens that you had in Dec. but I surely was glad to get past the holidays. We had a neighbor die weekend before last - and OW went to funeral, and so did my H. (I was out of town). That was a rough time for me - I hated him having contact.<P>Talk with you later! love those updates.<BR>TNT

Crisis...especially multiple...certainly test our resolve.<P>For you to get through all of that and be closer rather than further, even with dear DL, is incredible!<P> <P>We have come a long way!!!!!!

Hi Dazed,<P>So glad to see your update with some positive along with the bad. So sorry about all your losses.<P>But it is wonderful to see someone just getting over infidelity instead of those back into it posts. Sometimes it can happen.<P>Take care of yourself,<BR>Lora

<P>And my sympathies for the loss of your stepfather and kitties. That does seem to be a whole lot to deal with all at once.