Just wondering if anyone has had experience with the WS taking anti-depressants. My H (WS) is living with the OW. And has started taking his anti-depressants again (celexa).<BR> He quit taking them because "he didn't like the way it makes him feel". I suspect it has something to do with the inability for him to "function" sexually. But something has happened to make him resume the meds. <BR> With his emotions so up and down, I wonder how he can function properly. And I have been told if he was truly disfunctional he wouldn't be able to work as well as he does. (Sheriff deputy if you didn't guess)<BR> I know the guilt is eating him up inside. But as you all know that doesn't always stop them. <BR> My question is this-Would it be better for him to try and work out his feelings without meds or will the meds speed up his thinking so he can work through the problems to see why he had an affair to begin with. <BR> He can't figure out why he did it. He said we had a great marriage. I was a great wife. We are all mystified.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deputywife:<BR><B> Would it be better for him to try and work out his feelings without meds or will the meds speed up his thinking so he can work through the problems to see why he had an affair to begin with. <BR> He can't figure out why he did it. He said we had a great marriage. I was a great wife. We are all mystified.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>If it doesn't help, maybe he should try a different medication.<P>I remember the first medication that a Dr. put me on, Nortiptyline. The difference was incredible. Random thoughts that were tearing through my brain were suddenly being organized into coherent thoughts. I wasn't snatching and grabbing at ideas. I was actually able to think.<P>I'm on a minimal dosage of the Nortiptyline now, and also Effexor for depression. When we lowered the dosage, I did begin to have some problems thinking and coping with the disorganization of my thoughts. I've had to actively learn how to deal with the changes.<P>But that thought makes me wonder if his dosage is strong enough?<P>His Dr. is really the one you should be talking to.....<P>Good luck,<BR>~Amy

Thanks out of the fog,<BR> After doing research I believe he isn't on a high enough dose. <BR> He refuses to see a psychiatrist, and I know they truly know the right dosage for the symptoms etc.<BR> He's on 20 mg. which seems low. But since he isn't living at home it's hard to keep track of whether he's taking the medication or not.

omygosh this one hit so close to home for me! I've been lurking here for about a month, but this is my first post. I am a betrayed husband; I'll post my story soon. <P>But the depression issues you referred to--it's a very serious thing. He can be perfectly functional at work, and be completely screwed up in every other way. It's such a bizarre affliction, different for everybody. "Depression" really isn't a good word for it, because the general population just associates it with "sadness", which everybody experiences now and then. Actual clinical "Depression" is something quite apart from "being sad". Long term clinical depression is caused by chemical malfunctions in the brain, which cause inappropriate moods, responses, and actions. In my case, it caused a kind of "vegetative" state in which even the simplest tasks seem to require too much effort, and my senses seemed dulled as if I lived in a thick, warm fog. In my father's case, it was hostility towards everybody and withdrawal from loved ones. In my grandma's case it was...well you get the picture. It's often genetic. The "depressed" person can't even figure out why he does what he does. It may even seem natural if he has experienced the symptoms for so long that he doesn't remember what "normal" feels like. I'm quite successful at work. "Prestige" education and background. But I had boxes full of unopened mail in my closet and I wouldn't answer the phone for weeks at a time. "Depression" can really devastate your life. Not too long ago I found the motivation, somehow, to actually get help for it, and damn, how easy it was to treat! I was lucky, found the right drug and dosage quickly (Wellbutrin a couple times a day), and it's like I used to be 10 years ago. People who didn't know me 10 years ago are freaked out because it's like they don't even recognize me!<BR>I never ever cheated on my wife, but I sure as hell was not meeting her emotional needs for the years I suffered undiagnosed "depression". But I couldn't see that--can't see through fog. So don't give up on your hubby yet! If he finds the right treatment (and it can take a lot of trial and error--medical science doesn't quite have a handle on "depression" yet), you'll see the man you married again. Help him find himself in the fog! If he truly suffers from "Depression", without meds, it is truly physically impossible for him to work thru his problems.<P>Rusty