The last time i posted i was really feeling negative about my marriage. For newcomers, husband had an affair for 4 years before we were married and I was trying to forgive, hence the name but couldn't let go of the anger and pain! Anyhow, update, we move to a different state due to job opportunities, things had been going so good lately. Communication up/better. Then i found out he went to a strip club. He told me he was going to a bar with some coworkers after work. Doesn't matter how i found out, i did. Though i know nothing happened. Why the lie? Why not tell me! I tell my husband when I go to see a male strip show and give him details. I don't mind a little fun with the fella's, but my biggest problem is his trying to hide it. WHY? Can anyone give me some insight as to why hide something so trivial (to me that is) if nothing is going on? I'm perplexed with this one.<P>[This message has been edited by trying2_4give (edited February 05, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by trying2_4give (edited February 05, 2001).]

bringing to the top for help

Hi trying,<P>I have a feeling that your H thinks that he is "protecting you," by not being honest of where he was. Ughhh! I hate that! My H recently did the same thing...he thought that he was protecting me!<P>You know that saying, "What she doesn't know, won't hurt her??" What a crock that statement is!<P>I had another talk with my H about "Honesty," whether it hurts or not. They just don't seem to realize that it is NOT the truth that hurts...it is the act itself...the betrayal, the deceit, etc.