Some of you wll know that H and I had an agreement to talk at the end of the month. I have been trying to do plan B with varying degrees of success since mid November - H has persisted with regular calls and invitations BUT at the same time has remained in contact with OW. I suspect it is an EA now rather than PA - but what the hell difference does that make?<P>Anyway he called this afternoon and left a strange message. Mentioned some changes in the garden at our home (which I left) and asked if I would like to come and have a look - said (casually) if I came at a meal time (if I dont have a better offer, he said!!) he would make a barbecue (very Australlian!!). Oh boy, I thought long and hard - first reaction was to want to call and say -"well, are we going to talk about us" - I really need to have some clarity - as much as i am getting myself "healthy" I am still confused and uncertain about what he is thinking/planning/wanting. <P>Anyway I returned the call and said yes, I will come for lunch. And right now I feel sick. Dont know what will happen. Maybe nothing will be said at all ??? Maybe he is going to tell me this is the end of the road - surely it would be pretty callous of him to invite me to our home (45 minutes drive away)make me lunch and then expect me to casually (and safely) drive away. Maybe he will tell me he is still not sure. In which case back to Plan B in a big way. <P>Maybe he will say he wants to get back together - I have tried really hard to get my thoughts around this; the one thing I have learned in recent months is that there is no way that I will (a) accept continuing contact with OW (b) move back together without at least the agreement to establish a joint recovery plan. <P>I guess i had always planned that if he did finally decide to talk I would work through with Jennifer how best to handle it; but it has come at short notice and on the w/end so I guess I am thinking out loud here. Many thanks. I am trying to build up the strength to listen, have patience and be caring no matter what.<P>R

Rose,<P>You are most likely all ready on your way but good luck, be careful. Prayers your way.

Rosebrook,<P>Have you done a formal plan B letter? Maybe that is the next step if he is not ready to commit to recovery. So he knows for sure what it will take to get back together with you. So he can be without your calls and meetings when he wants them. So you can stop getting your hopes up by his positve actions toward you, while still with OW.<BR>Lora

well, how did it go? are you alright?