Hi,<P>I have to post this follow up because after reading my post from earlier, I may not have explained myself correctly.<P>Part of my problem confessing to her, which I did entirely on my own without any threats or pressures was that I didn't tell her everything at first, and that was a huge problem. Now, everything is out and she still feels like more will get dumped on her, even though it won't I understand where she is coming from.<P>It just seems that 6 weeks ago when I told her, she was very willing to try and would read at this site all the time. She posted some things, which I admit that I read, and that upset her. I did not know at the time we should not read each others posts. Now she will not post here. I have read surviving an affair and gave it to her. I don't know how much of it she has read, but I know she has started. She has said she does not need to post here and that she is getting her thoughts together right now. She has said that she does read things here, but will not post. Now it seems like instead of being willing to try she is looking more towards the situation that she may not want to try. She told me yesterday that she knows what we have to try to make this work, such as spend time together, but now she says she does not know if she wants to even to that because she may not want that in the long run. Even though she then has agreed to have a meeting with me next week during the afternoon. This is a small step, but I told her we have to meet when we don't have to worry about the kids being around or wait until they go to bed.<P>Also, we recently moved (before I told her)"out of the city" and the commute is about an hour everyday. She has told me she now hates the drive and hates living this far out. I tried to make a positive spin on the whole deal and said that after we figure all this out and get going on our life again we can move and get a new house, which will give us a new start. She did not respond, but did listen to me.<P>She does talk alot in the past few days about moving on and actually suggesting things I should prepare for and how we would divide up money and child custody. It scares me that she is talking about this so "matter of factly." <P>I think I know her well enough that she is not trying to set me up, but, I feel that she is really leaning towards not even trying. She says she will "just know" when she can't do it anymore. I then asked her later if she will "just know" if it is working also, to which she replied "This is alot to overcome, I don't know if I want to, but yes, I will "just know" then also.<P>So, I hope that she is just going back and forth about her decision, and just voicing what she is thinking.<P>The other bummer about the past two days is I found out she told her parents and one sister about this 2 1/2 weeks ago. She said they didn't tell her what to do, but would respect either decision she makes. I wish I would have known she was telling them.<P>I try to stay positive, but this is getting tough with all this kind of not trying talk going on.<P>Have a good weekend!
