...last a lifetime? I know you've heard the ad slogan, but how much truth is there in that statement? I was discussing this with some friends the other night...this wonderful woman (married 8 years, with 2 kids) had a HUGE rock, but she said she really couldn't care less about the size of the ring...she actually felt embarassed that her H spent so much on her ring.<P>Is the cost of the wedding relevant to the happiness of the marriage? I got married in Vegas...a few hundred bucks, a cheesy video, 300-dollar ring, and some hack at the altar. Would a bigger wedding have made any difference? <P>Most of the happily married women I work with have rings that would break my bank account in a second...one guy I know spent more to insure his bride's ring than I spent on the whole wedding!<P>Any thoughts? How many cheap weddings led to happiness? Who spent thousands only to have it destroyed by cheap infidelity? Who felt they got their money's worth from the wedding?

cjack,<P>I was married once before. My first wedding was the whole works: I had a 1.3 diamond solitaire and also a 1/2K diamond ring guard. My 1st H had an expensive wedding band with several diamonds on it. Bought the expensive wedding dress & headdress. For the reception, we had 500 guests, hired a string quartet, had professional singers perform songs at the church, sit down dinner, hired a DJ from a well-known radio station, hired photographer, videographer, went on a 6-day honeymoon which included a cruise, etc. etc. etc. This wedding cost a fortune. But get this.....the marriage lasted 4 months! The marriage really sucked and in my opinion, NOT worth saving. My 1st H was a horrible horrible person and did an unforgivable thing (I can't disclose what it was). That's how bad it was!<P>Now, my second marriage: My current H & I eloped. We went to Tahoe, paid $300 for the ceremony, video & pictures. We had 4 witnesses. I made my own bouquet out of silk flowers. We wore denim & southwestern type clothing. For our wedding rings, my current H has a simple plain gold band that we bought on sale for less than $75. The wedding ring that I now wear costs 10x less than the ring that I was given for my first marriage. I'll tell you what. This small ceremony was memorable, meaningful and beautiful! It really came from the heart. I'll always cherish it. Unfortunately, my marriage was tarnished from my H's alcøhol problem & his cheap infidelity with "the Barfly." That's what brought me to this website.<P>Regarding investing in a large wedding vs. small wedding, to sum it up, I don't think it matters how much you spend on your wedding. I do not believe that there is a correlation. Whether you have a large wedding or small wedding, is irrelevant to if your marriage will be happy or not. What matters, is that you understand & practice the concepts of what makes a marriage the best that it can be.<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Survivor [aka_NoTrust] (edited February 05, 2001).]

having worked in the Jewerly industry for 15 years now I think I can give you some insight. The big rock is all MARKETING!!!<BR>set up by DE Beers. I have seen many greedy women wanting to break the poor guys bank, and many people go into debt just to show off. You are much better buyig a CZ and saving you $$ for a real investment.<BR>It's realy very hard to tell the difrence between a CZ, white Sapphire and a Diamond<BR>save your money and don't sweat what you did not waste your money on. after all it's what you do with your marriage that counts.<BR>please note I hvae a very small diamond and Iam very happy with it

I was going to respond about the ring and then I saw the statement "happily married women"--I was a happily married woman until my H had an affair---The ring, if she is materialstic- the bigger the better, if she LOVES you nothing else matters--So many go these days to pick out their engagement ring-since their wearing them they have to get what they like- right?<BR>The first time my H proposed to me- in the arbortetum on Campus- knealt down - asked me- I said yes- no ring- college student poor--got a beautiful engagement ring 2 years later-- wasn't important, could have been smaller- it was the words, the love that mattered over any material possession in the world- as it should be. I loved the engagement ring- but I wanted the married band- I wore that one- engagement ring sat in a box--I have been wearing it again because the engagement ring was a fulfilled promise, my band-broken vow--So, I wear the engagemet ring and the main diamond falls out----ouch- will cost $500 to replace- you don't know how bad I want it replaced, but it won't be the same and that saddens me after the affair and all.<BR>Bumbed out, but why am I holding onto a material possession now?- Because the A made me- holding onto the only thing that I know is real....Why symbols of love?<BR>To declare the love to the rest of the people in this world that don't care if you have it and if you do they want it for themselves--Maybe, we shouldn't let people know we are married- Maybe if we didn't let people know that we loved the other so much they wouldn't try to take it for themself...(little vent there)

My H offered to buy me an engagement ring, 26 years ago - but there are so many more useful things to spend money on. And why don't men wear engagement rings, anyway, if women do? Our wedding rings costs $70, our wedding about $700 - I can't imagine spending scads of money on a wedding when you can use it as a downpayment on a house.