first a little background <P>my wife told me about one and a half months ago that she wasn't in love with me and she wanted a divorce ....i was floored and i cried and i begged and i told her that i loved her and that kept puhsing her further away<P>about three weeks ago i draged the truth out of her about the OM which of course pushed her even further away. i felt that i kept making mistakes that were pulling us appart at an alarming rate.<P>at this point we only talked when there was a problem with the kids and mostly by way of letters. (there is more to my story if you want to read my posts)<P><BR>so over the past few weeks i have been reading every book ican find on saving a marrage or living with inifidelity and have been learning a lot about marrage and myself.<BR>Dr Harleys books have been especially helpfull but i was still confused if i should on plan A or plan B<P><BR>then a couple days ago i found a web site called stop your divorce (stopyourdivorce.com) the site claimed to almost guarantee to stop your divorce and to turn your marrage around.<P>i was sure it was a ripp off and that my credit card was going to be charged with all kinds of things but at this point i was (and still am ) so desperate that i would do or pay anything that might be able to help my situation .....this time it cost me 29.95. I told myself that i could always call my credit card company if needed.<P><BR>anyway i paid it and downloaded it and to my amazement it realy was a book 106 pages written by Dr. Homer Mc donald<P><BR>so i started reading it and everything seemed to start to make sence . I was making mistakes but ididn't know what they were<P><BR>the principals seem very similar to Dr. Harleys except for some reason they hit home with me <P>i guess the main message of the book is to agree with everything that your mate says and always be happy(there are many messages but that one realy made sence to me ) it goes on to say that if your wife tells you that she wants a divorce don't tell her why she doesn't want one AGREE WITH HER tell her that she is right and that you think that there is no way that your marrage can work. ..<P><BR>well i read the book three times and i figured i didn't have anything to loose so i gave it a try<P><BR>i wrote my wife a letter last night and I left it for her when she came to pick up the kids . when she left she said goodby but was very cold as usual.<P>in the letter i told her that although i wanted our marrage to work i now see that it is impossable and that i have come to some realizations about our relationship.<P>i told her that it must have taken alot of guts to do what she has done and that i am proud of her.i told her about the good things that were happening to me because of all of this<P>i have a much better relationship with my kids<BR> <BR>I have lost twenty pounds and am working out which i have never done in fifteen years of marrage<P>i am meeting new people and going out more<P>i am taking care of the house and the finances better than i ever have ..and so on<P>then i told her that i would still love to remain friends and have a good relationship<P><BR>so i left the letter and when i came home from work we actually talked for a few minutes before she left... after she was gone i noticed that she left a letter for me..<P><BR>I was sure that it was going to be more of the same "get over me I'm not coming back EVER ...".but it wasn't .....it wasn't a reconciliation either but it wsa an improvement. <P>she started the letter with "I read your letter and i feel better about US than i have in a long time..." she went on to say that she was glad to see that i was getting on with my life and that she would love to work on our friendship she went on about a lot of incidental stuff but from time to time she actually threw in a compliment.<P>she ended the letter with " I am realy looking forward to spending time with you and the kids this weekend"<P>now i know that this isn't anything to jump for joy about but it is a step in the right direction i know that the road i am on will be a very long and winding one but i feel that the runaway train to divorce that i am on just stopped picking up speed and i hope that the way to slow it down will be to work on our friendship and always present myself as a happy fun to be around guy who doesn't realy NEED to be married to enjoy life and one who isn't always wineing and begging for forgivness<P><BR>anyway wish me luck and if you have an extera 29.95 i suggest the book<P>ps thanks again to everyone on this site for their support and suggestions<P>