He called last night around 9:30 & we were just talking & he said, I should just come up there & stay tonight. I said come on up, he sort of hedged around for a few minutes & finially decided to.<P>He told me he called OW yesterday (supposedly to get a phone # of someone she knows, I think he was trying to see how she would react-he's obviously not completely done having feelings for her, but I do think his brain is comming into play a little bit more now than it did before). He said her tone of voice was pretty cold, he said she's being a bi&^%. I just listened. He said if he gets this job in another state (interview on Monday-I'm pretty sure I'm going with him) he's not giving his phone # out to anyone-except me.<P>When we were going to sleep he said are you sure it's ok that I came here? I said yes I'm sure, why? He said I'm supposed to be figuring myself out. I said just cuz you come here sometimes doesn't make me think you're comming back, I know you're not making any promises to me, I just like to be with you.<P>I've been getting phone calls the last 2 nights from some girl asking for him, by his first name only. When I say he's not here right now, can I take a message she just says no message, I'll try back later. It's not OW, but I'm pretty sure it's someone she has calling to see if he's here. I think if it happens again I'll just say yes he's here, can I tell him who's calling and see what they say then. I told him about it, I'm not sure if it made him glad to know she's still trying to figure out what he's doing or if it made him mad at her for "checking up". I think maybe the latter. . .I think he's getting a little tired of her doing stuff like that (I mean jeez, she's WAY worse than I was!!).<P>So, I have two questions for you guys:<P>1. Am I being too much of a "friend"? You know that he can talk to me about anything, I'm pretty sure he talks to me about her more than he talks to anyone else. . but this is what I want right? Sometimes I get afraid he's going to end up thinking of me only as a friend (we were more than just friends last night!!!!).<P>2. If I go with him out of town, should I try to "plan something fun" for Sunday night at the hotel (if you know what I mean), or should I just be there for him, since he's got an interview & will probably be nervous?<P>Thoughts, suggestions & ideas, please!

Plan A, Plan A, Plan A...you are doing great and your H's actions & behavior towards you are proving it! Continue to do what you are doing. The good thing, is that you are Plan A'ing without smothering him.<P>Yes, plan on doing something nice when you are away with him.<P>This is great! The OW is Lovebusting all over the place. You continue to do what you are doing, and allow her to do the opposite! Your H will realize who the better person is!

Survivor-thanks for the support-I hope that's how it's looking, it seems that way.<P>So you don't think that I can be too much of a friend to him??<P>Also, what I was thinking about planning was just sneaking along a bottle of wine (nothing big, cuz of the interview the next AM) and some candles from home (and a cute little nightie) and just saying something like - just to help you relax a little before the big day!! Do you think it will seem to him like I'm trying too much (you know, too romantic?)??<P><BR>

Bitsy,<P>I think that your plans for the get-away are perfect. Keep that plan.<P>I also think that it is great that your H feels that he can be honest and open with you. After all, isn't that what we want, regardless if what he tells you is good or bad, painful or happy? It is better to know the truth, rather than him, feeling the need to be deceitful.<P>Keep consistent with your Plan A. It is obviously having an affect on your H.