Lori (hope it's ok that I call you that!)-<BR>I've been told that my story is pretty similar to yours. . I've been reading your posts, wow there's a ton, and I'm up to the part where your D was acting out.<P>I was wondering if you could read some of my posts and let me know what you think? Any suggestions for me? Anything I'm not doing that I should be, or things I'm doing that I shouldn't?<P>Also, if it's not too personal could you tell me a little more about what you think was going on w/your H at the time? I know Jim is suffering and struggling with so many other things besides me. . I see him hurting and it's so hard for me to just sit & watch. I truely love this man with all my heart (not to mention that my girls do to), he really is the best thing that ever happened to us.<P>I could probably come up w/a million other questions for you, but maybe I should just start here! I also want you to know that I did not really understand Plan A until I read your post about it in NSR's Notable Posts. Thank you so much, that really was a changing point for me. . I have grown so much in the short time I've been at MB.<P>Hope to hear from you soon, thank you!

Hi, Bitsy....just finished reading your threads...not quite as daunting as your undertaking to read MINE (tons, my dear, is the understatement of the year....especially once you realize they are wayyyy long as well!!! LOL)<P>You've been getting some really good advice on these boards...from some of the best around and I see your Plan A is improving steadily. Good job! Keep it up...remember these improvements are for a lifetime. You asked for advice..the only real advice I have is the hardest to follow. You're doing a great job growing and learning; you're doing a great job being his friend (btw, I don't believe you can go overboard with that). Make sure that you're taking good care of yourself and that, with all the action happening, you're not focusing TOTALLY on him and winning him back. I tended to slip into that. Remember Rule #1, don't educate. Talk about the relationship if HE wants to, otherwise, pretend he's someone new you're interested in and just enjoy the time together.<P>It's not too personal to ask about Robert's difficulties, but a simple answer is hard, I'm afraid. We had been through a lot the prior years, several deaths, my mom's cancer, my father was killed. I had my issues, many of which I brought from my first marriage (Kristin's dad sounds a awful lot like your ex). Everything together, well, we didn't handle the stress very well.<P>He lost faith in himself. And he had his problems from years ago. To tell you the truth, Honey, it's been a year since he came home and we're still dealing with some issues here and there. Life on the whole is wonderful, but problems take a lifetime to manifest themselves and can't be solved in just a few months.<P>Don't know if I've helped or not, but I pop in every few days if you need anything. And I'm always checking my mail (Ldodge6209@aol.com) - feel free.<P>Got to run. Friday nite's date night and he'll be home very soon.<P>Good luck, Sweetie! Keep up the good work.<P>Love and Prayers,<P>Lori<BR>