any suggestions on how to get rid of an OW that just WONT GO AWAY ????<BR>creativity a must the normal stuff doesnt cut it<BR>any help appreciated<BR><P>------------------<BR>"The human Heart is often the victim of the sensations of the moment; Success intoxicates it to presumption and disappointment defects and terrifies it."<BR>~~Valney~~

.<p>[This message has been edited by TeeAreOhYouBeEL.Eee (edited July 25, 2001).]

For me, when she called I called the police, had my phone traced and filed a report. She still kept it up at H work. Finally my H complained to his boss and said that if she did not stop he was filing harrassment. I have never been afraid to confront her and things have pretty much come to a hault. Besides she is now sleeping with some other MM, she is a real winner to say the least. Don't take any C@#P! No one has the right to harrass you. I also think that it is your H job to step up and put an end to it!<P>Good luck and God Bless!

Hey! I wish I had the answer to this one. My H & I have been in recovery for almost 2 years.<P>Although the affair was brief (7 weeks long), this OW is still invading our marriage, and it's almost 2 years later!<P>After confessing, my H broke it off with her over the phone. For 9 months, she kept trying to reinitiate the affair by having her friend encourage my H to call the OW. Thank goodness, he didn't.<P>Then, after 9 months from D-Day, she e-mailed him to reinitiate again. He wrote her "No Contact" letter.<P>From that period on, our recovery kept improving. We hadn't heard from her.<P>But, after one year since that last time (from when he wrote her the "No Contact" letter) she made another attempt!<P>My H wrote her another "No Contact" letter, but it was even more harsh than the last. This last attempt at contact was as recent as last week! And it is almost 2 years now!<P>This OW is in LaLa Land. She had a brief affair with my H and she thinks that she is "in love" with him. I hope that she will finally "get the message!"<P>We don't have the desire to hear from her ever! However, there is "no guarantee" that we won't hear from her again in the near future.<P>I wish that she would just fall off the face of the earth and leave us alone!<P>p.s. I'm beginning to wonder if this OW is a glutton for getting hurt. After all, it is 2 years, and she keeps coming back for more! The outcome is always the same...my H tells her that he loves me and sends her that "No Contact" letter!<p>[This message has been edited by Survivor [aka_NoTrust] (edited February 09, 2001).]

ow won't leave my H alone either. After repeated pleas to leave him alone, she still calls constantly...either at our home hanging up or his voice mail. There's no way to stop her as his voice mail is business related and can't be changed.<P>He's talking to her now as just friends he tells me. I know they haven't seen each other as he didn't even know she lost her job. I found a message from her on his voice mail. She's doing a number on his brain. I am so thankful to his counselor who tells him that he'd rather my H remain drunk the entire rest of his life than have anything thing to do with her. (H has a drinking problem.)<P>I've called her husband twice and he's powerless to do anything. He tells me he lives there to protect his son.<P>This pot (piece of trash) has just lost her 5th job in 2 3/4 years. I think the only reason she won't leave my H alone is she can't find another. No man wants her. She's getting to middle age, has a son, huge debt, no job and can't hold one, and has the personality of a boar in heat.<P>There's no getting rid of them. I'm just staying in prayer, trying to keep my sanity, doing a rather bad job of Plan A but keeping on. <P><BR>

Has your husband considered getting a restraining order against her?? then if<BR>she contacts him you'll have legal recourse..<P>I know some states even have "stalker" laws..<BR>maybe you can look into that??<P>And as far as e-mail goes..can't you block her e-mail address? I know you can with some<BR>programs..use call block to block her number<BR>and if she tries to use the hide the number<BR>feature you can also block unlisted numbers..<BR>and unidentifed numbers...<P>and if you by chance talk to her husband again..tell him he does have a recourse..<BR>tell him he can always take their son and<BR>leave..and he can write her a Plan B letter..<BR>

it might be helpful for you to bear in mind that your h is STILL lying to you. i went through something like this with the man i had an affair with. they were getting prank calls and he told his wife it was me. of course, i knew it wasn't, i knew he had begun seeing other people. however, i think it was just much easier for him to blame it all on me and she was more than happy to believe it. regardless, he was still in communication with me at the time and told me he was still in love with me and really wanted it to work. i just wasn't biting, because i had begun to realize exactly how duplicitous he was.<P>i have a question actually, i've discovered that my OM has given me an STD and it didn't come from me. my dr. is now going to give me an HIV test as well. my dr. suggested that i let the wife know since we know he is a liar and will not tell her. personally, i don't want to speak to him or her. and i don't want to upset her, but i do want to be responsible. i started by asking him to discuss it, but he's in complete denial about anything in regard to me now, since he's supposedly "trying to get back with his wife" anyway, but regardless, he's left ALOT of unfinished business. i don't think his wife has any idea that we actually had a physical affair, but just thinks i'm delusional. should i just let her figure it out on her own?

<B> anthea </B><P>Will you please make up your mind who and what you are ? In this thread <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum35/HTML/000668.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum35/HTML/000668.html</A> <P>you said <B> you people sound so awful and bitter. there's a child involved here and all you can think about is how to deprive her of cs money and be nasty? ewwww. i'm really not sure about this forum. sounds like people are avoiding the responsibilities they entered into when they brought other people into their marriage. my husband has a child with another woman, their relationship is over, but i INSIST that he participate as a father to that child emotionally and financially. i am a human being and a woman first and foremost and as such i have a responsibility to our next generation. some of the women in here sound very small and bitter. i will be surprised if any good comes of your marriage if your focus is keeping such a tight hold on him and his money and venting your bitterness on an innocent child. " </B> <P>Do you think that many of us don't read in several of the fourms on this board ? I am more inclined to believe that you are a bitter ow who has come here to hurt others. I ask as a member of this board that you think twice before you make remarks that are designed only to hurt the betrayed on this board. We have a sense of family and community here and have real problems with those who come here to cause pain. We don't have flame wars here, but the moderators will I am sure be glad to put a stop to someone posting only to hurt the members.<P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

Anthea<P>Are you also a liar? Be honest,we are.<P>You have been busted <P>I think that you need help in more ways than one.

Are you also a liar? Be honest,we are.<P>You have been busted <P>I think that you need help in more ways than one.>>>>>>>>><P>i am being honest. and none of this was meant as an attack on anyone. this is my experience. i'm sorry if it hurts anyone on this board to have to address what might be situation here. or to have to consider the fallout of a situation. i feel that i am simply being honest and thougtful. no, you're right, none of it is pretty, but it hardly makes me bitter.<P>i am happy that my husband and i survived his affair. i am happy that i am no longer in mine -- for OBVIOUS reasonss. so i really don't understand the negativity here.<P>sometimes honesty is not pretty or what we had in mind, but we all need to confront it at some time.<P>

as for my other post. i did think this was a christian forum and perhaps it would have done you well to read some of the horribly bitter posts with wives talking about how to keep their H's from paying child support for the OC! i'm sorry, that's wrong. it just is and i don't think it's wrong to say it's a very bad display of family values.

Anthea,<P>Look, the woman who have had anything to say about cs for oc are not saying the child should get nothing, but they are saying that the courts should take into consideration that these men have children from the marriage. I do not think an ow who has a child from an affair should recieve the same amout of support as a w who has been in the marriage for years would. After all the ow chose to keep the child knowing that the father was already married and had a family.<P>Oh and while may posters here are Christians doesn't mean the site is Christian, and being a Christian does not mean you are allowed to speak out against injustice and lies. Christ did, and yes He even got angry. Don't believe me ? Go back and read about the money changers in the Temple and the Lord's reaction to them. Christian does not mean door mat !<P>I still believe you are full of it BTW.

?????<BR>i never brought that (cs) up in this forum.<P>i believe you did. for some reason you felt that my other post was relevant here?? don't get it. the post in that forum was in response to some posts which were very harsh in regard to CS. and i'm sorry, i can't abide a deadbeat or women who support that behavior.<P>my comment in this forum was in response to dealing with getting rid of the ow.<BR>i HOPE this is NOT the case. however, it's pretty much common sense and in my experience--if someone's still hanging around it's for a reason. i simply gave the poster a personal example of how a BS was duped AGAIN. and that i recognize this OW hanging on as another sign that the affair may not be over or he continues this emotional attachment with her. OR as is the case in my situation, it's because there is unfinished business there. which is specifically why i asked for advice to it here. is it worth addressing or no? at this point i believe my husband's going to bring it up with them actually.<P>i honestly don't know what you are in a uproar about. are we just supposed to say that she should seek nasty revenge against this woman instead of dealing with the issue at hand in her marriage? i know this is a harsh truth, but i presume people are here for that and to support each other.<BR>i don't know why you have so viciously attacked me, i've come to this forum seeking support and information on how to make my marriage stronger after this affair. but i will continue to do my best to speak the truth in here in spite of it repercussions.<P>obviously, you don't know me, which is why i don't understand how you could say that i am lying? why would i lie? what's the point? this is an online forum! no one knows me here. that's what is liberating about it. i'm sharing my experience, i thought without judgement. and i'm sorry if you are so angry you must attack me for doing so.

Not to get off the topic, but can we get back to the topic?<P>Creative ways to get rid of OW?<P>Pray for her. Pray for God to open her eyes. Pray for God to give her strength and wisdom to live her life in positivity instead of having to "steal" to get her needs met. Pray for strength to forgive her.<P>That will "get rid" of OW. At least it sets her out of your mind so that you can live your life. Life's too short to put all your energy into negative thinking.<P>"God's giving is inseparably connected with our asking"<P>or<P>"You do not have because you do not ask."<BR>-James 4:2 NRSV<P>L

Creative ways to get rid of OW....hmmmmm.<P>Try this--think "I Dream of Genie":<P>Tie your hair up into a high ponytail, cross your arms over your chest, now blink and nod...<P>...blink and nod,<P>...blink and nod.<P>Did it work for you? #@$!%*!!!! One of these days it's gonna work for one of us .<P>Hang in there...<P>Peace, ~Marie<P>------------------<BR>I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. <P>The Bible<BR>Matthew 17:20<p>[This message has been edited by ohmy_marie (edited February 11, 2001).]

Thank you all for your responses i will try a few of those......... Tee i like your best but dont know how to do websites that well...<BR>Anthea..... what can i say?.... you seem very bitter . i dont know why and i dont care but for you to come here and Assume that our H's are still in contact with OW's is a bit of a assumtion . just because your MM was using u as an excuse or because your H did it doesnt mean that all our cases are alike...... as a social worker you should know this you should also know not to jump to comclusions.. as a fellow Social worker I pray to god that you dont work with child services..... the poor children will be exiled from their parents cause you are so bitter against men.... you know maybe your H gave you the std..... just a thought<P>Any how once again thank you all for your replies....didnt mean to make this forum an argumenitive forum<BR><P>------------------<BR>"The human Heart is often the victim of the sensations of the moment; Success intoxicates it to presumption and disappointment defects and terrifies it."<BR>~~Valney~~

Tee, <BR> Hi I am new at this ,so please have a little patience while I figure out if I am doing the right way .<BR> I was strolling throught the discussions last night and read lot of everyones to see if there is anything in common with what I am going through myself ,and I realized there are alot more people then I thought that are actually going through the same,or alot worse with there marriage.<BR> I saw your responce and I dont think I had laughed so much in my life,did you actually make a webpage of the OW ? I mean its really cruel, but I like your thinking,where is it? you said you send it to people randomly but I am really interseted in what it looks like and sounds like, can I have the web address? please? I am thinking about doing something similar but not to the OW ,but my H. Just need a few Ideas <BR> until you respond,I am sorry if I responded to late but I found this very intersting<P>lostandalone<BR>

You know what???? Anthea writes an awful lot like my OW. Lots of typos, if you know what I mean..... Go away if it's you Karen or I'll tell Glenn on you, ha!<P>In my experience, there is NO way to get rid of these OW. They sink their claws into what they want and that's all she wrote. They are justified, you know. At least in their little minds.<P>I can think of alot of illegal things I'd like to do to the OW, but she ain't worth my time (oops, the southern redneck is coming out - better go to bed)

I'm not sure if it was creative...or if it really worked...but H 'appears' not to be seeing her...I will have to wait for cell phone bill to see if there are any calls... ...<P>But Hurricane Cali rolled in one day:<P>1. Phone call to OW: No, this isn't Baby. It is Baby's Wife. I just wanted you to know he f##### me this morning. (she hung up).<P>2. phone message: BTW. I went to DR. and I am clean of STD's, so I am guessing you are too.<P>3. phone message to OW: What's the matter Princess, don't you want to call me back so we can compare notes?<P>At this point she called my H and told him that she would file harassment charges and get a restraining order.<P>4. phone message to OW: 3 phone calls do not harassment make and go ahead and get restraining order. I do not want you around my children and you won't be able to call "Baby" because his phone is in my name and you will be violating your own restraining order.<P>5. phone message to OW: Oh, and by the way, I have downloaded all the emails from you and he that I found and taperecorded voice message that he saved...they are in my bosses' office...if you file charges I will countersue for alienation of affection (which you can't do in CA, but she probably doesn't know that ...) I also have a 'free' lawyer so I am not worried about cost. (A friend of the family is a lawyer and would represent me for a nominal fee.)<P>At this point second call to H....blah, blah, blah. I also proceeded to let a few of her coworkers know about A.<P>Final fury...she called H and asked him to change the message on cell phone because she was tired of hearing my voice.<P>Last phone call to OW--Baby can't change voice message because it is my phone...you are welcome to buy him a phone and pay for it...this one will be cut off if you don't quit calling him on it....'cause I'm not paying for you and he to talk.<P>She also invaded this website...allegedly (JustAPerson, JustAPersonToo and JustAPerson2--we think). I told H of this. He apologized to me...<P>Not too long ago I found evidence (H's journal) of a fight they had over all this stuff...oddly through it all H has believed me and supported me in all I've done...even though he was 'in love' with her.<P>She was also the one who tended to get vile and curse about me (though told him that's what I was doing--again, he believed me).<P>That's my story.<P>Cali

Cali, <P>Yes but are you sticking to it? <P>H2Y