I'm afraid i'm going to ramble. When My wife moved out, she never said it was to be with Him, but to have a place to live while she got herself together. I neglected her for last 3-4 years and as she put it"treated her like property". I have been doing plan A for aprox. 6 months, she moved back in nov., but it was too soon. Sepped up plan A did very well, we see each other almost everyday, and talk on pnone 30= times a week. Last 3-4 weeks she has said been saying she would like to come back. She said "I don't know what you think I was doing while living there, but I was more of a maid than anything else". This is not the same as saying I didn't sleep with him. I still am not certain what to think. She NEVER gave me any cause before to think she would be unfaithful. She asked this weekend if after we live together it will be thrown up at her that "you left me". I don't want to hurt her, and right now I feel like she could be hurt so much easier than me. I want to stay married so much. now the question I feel I can go ahead an live together and rebuild a better marriage with her and wait to see if she has anything to add to this as time goes on. I can put this question on hold, It does'nt matter to me what her answer is, I just want it to be the truth when she says it. <BR>I hope this makes sense thanks to all of you. Off to work or I'll be late. .D.

Honesty is so important...<P>Be honest with her...<BR>...you will most likely had small bouts of "fear" that sh may leave again...<BR>...ask to help you with this...<BR>...i.e. give you reassurances she won't (in actions not just words(<P>Be honest with her...<BR>...start helping around the house!!!!<BR>...these will be your actions of "reassurance"...<P>Is your W committed to NO CONTACT with the OM?...<BR>...this is the real reassurance you need to make this recovery work...<BR>...if you don't get this... there will be problems up ahead.<P> <P>Jim