After our confrontaion, a few days ago, about OW and H's continued envolvment he spent the weekend trying to convince me I am the only one in his life. Flowers, romantic dinner Sat night, made breakfast Sun morning, was extra nice with the children, you name it he did it. He went on and on last night about things we need to do together and plans for us for many years to come, in fact he was talking a lot about things we will be doing once both children are away at college. <P>Of course this is just all talk as far as I am concerned, but I think he's getting the wakeup call that he isn't covering up well enough and if I find out much more our marriage will be over. <P>So this morning as he is about to leave for work I mention to him how he had said he would compromise on some issues to help rebuild my trust in him. He agreed he said that, and asked what I wanted him to do. I told him I want him to call me EVERY day, for as long as I need, when he gets to work, FROM THE WORK PHONE and not his cell phone. (That way I will know he is at work and not calling from her bedroom or anywhere else.) He said sure no problem. He didn't get angry, he didn't even hesitate in his responce. I also told him I want him to call me from the office phone as he is leaving work, he agreed to that too. No questions asked. I also told him *forgetting* would not be an excuse for not calling me. If he values me, our marriage and our family he will not forget. He said he understands and will be sure to call. He gave me a nice kiss and said he'd call me in a while.<P>He also told me he had to stop to put gas in the car and had to pick up something on his way to work. I already knew thses things so I knew he wasn't trying to make excuses to be late for work.<P>He called from his cell. And told me he had gotten gas and the item he needed and he was about 20 minutes from work. He just made some chit chat and said he'd call when he got there. I figured that's it. I won't hear from him and this is his excuse to not call me from work. You know the, "But at least I called you, does everything always have to be the way you insist," attitude. But I looked at the clock when he called, just in case.<P>Lo and behold, 22 minutes later the phone rings and the caller ID says he calling from work. I made a point of calling him honey, thanking him for calling, telling him I miss him already, etc. He said he loves me and will call later in the day to check in.<P>So..... This is a good thing. I know his meetings with her have been primarily in the AM. He leaves work about the same time daily and his time from leaving to arriving home have been consistent with not making any stops. <P>Now, I'm still not believeing all, or even much, of what he says. I am still convinced we can not fully recover untill, or if, she is ever out of the picture. BUT this is a really B I G step for him. He has never agreed to anything like this before and I know it is going to put a major cramp in OW's plans for her and my H. I bet she was steaming this AM when he didn't show up at her place or wherever they have redevouing(sp). He'll have to decide now whose pain and suffering he will end and whose he will increase. He may have just needed a firmer stand from me. He may just try to hide this all deeper, in hopes I will not find out. But I have that angle covered too, I think.<P>So I think I now have him worried about loosing me. I know she still works there and he will still be seeing her 6 days a week. But they will not be alone at any time they are at work. <P>I am holding off on the PI to give him time to establish another pattern in seeing her other than at work, if is going to. Right now he is probably behaving himself because he knows I am on to what has been going on, and he is in great danger of loosing his family. The PI is going to cost me around $5000 (I did call the PI this AM) and I don't want to spend that amount twice. So I will give him enough rope to either get his head out of the noose (read: his own butt) or hang himself. Of course in the next weeks I will start calling at different times of the day and see if there are spans of time when he leaves and can not be contacted by cell phone. I am also going to insist that he has his detailed cell bill sent to our home instead of to work. I'm going to wait a few days to bring that one up. I don't want to hit him with everything all at once.<P>All in all, I am proceeding very cautiously. I'm still the perfect wife in his eyes, while being the perfect nonbeliever inside of myself. <P>One other interesting thing happened this weekend. Fri night our oldest daughter and her boyfriend saw OW!!!! D and b/f walked into a restuarant (about 20 minutes form our home) and OW was sitting at the bar (no surprise there) with some guy. D called me from the restaurant and told me what she looked like (and I guess she looks VERY OLD nthese days), etc. It was her, no mistaken identity. In fact D said when they walked in OW pointed at her and said something to the man she was with. When H got home from work I calmly asked him what time OW left work and if he knew her plans for the evening. He said she left at 5:30 and she was meeting a client for dinner. I then told him what D had said. He said he was surprised she would meet this client at the place D saw her at. And questioned D's abilty to know what OW looks like or how OW would know what D looks like. I then reminded him how there are pictures of OW at his sister's and D had seen them and there is also a recent picture of D at SILs and we knew she was there as recently as Christmas. He agreed it was possible, but he also said OW looks 10 years older then she did before he left her( LOL D had already told me that). I did tell him he could tell her if she EVER points a finger in one of my children's direction again, that will be the last time she uses that finger in it's current state. If that was a LB, then so be it. I had to let H know that if either of our kids crosses her path again and she acknowledges their pressence *I* will go to where ever they are and let her know personally that she is not to do so.<P>So the PI is on hold. My guard is up. H is walking a very thin line. And the roller coaster is still moving but I feel much more in controll and now know I will either get off of it alone or with H by my side in the very near future. Hey, I've got the time. I wouldn't even consider moving untill school is out anyway.<P>Thanks for reading another long post about the life of...<P><BR>Fingers Crossed<BR>(who did put a call into her lawyer this morning too)<P><BR>
