So we went together Sunday for his interview (on Monday morning). We chatted on the way down, nothing too serious, about how he was nervous, about some of the questions they might ask him, about the girls, etc. We did kinda joke about if he was going to go to the beach where we went for vacation in August (he's about 5 hours away, I'm 10 or 11) that he would have to call me & at least invite me, I made him "pinky promise"-all in good fun, we were laughing. I joked that if he went by himself he would just be there having a terrible time and be missing me-that it wouldn't be any fun for him there if I wasn't. Again, all joking & laughing.<P>When we finially got there (we got lost for about an hour, which he CANNOT stand!! Doesn't bother me, every vacation I ever went on w/my family, my Dad got us lost!!). Anyhow, we went out to eat & he said he was glad I was there with him.<P>When we got back to the room I got out the wine & wine glasses & candles & said that I wanted to make a toast to him. I just said something about "To you, to finding your way & to getting what you want". He smiled. I said I will always be here for you, you know that. He smiled again & looked away, then kissed me very gently on the forehead. Between last night & today he has thanked me 3 or 4 times for the wine, he thought it was very nice. He also thanked me a bunch of times for going w/him.<P>So on the way home we talked about how the interview went, what he thinks he's going to do. I really think it would be good for him with all the problems he's having right now, I think he would prove to himself that he can do it, on his own (I KNOW that he can, but he doesn't I don't think). We talked about if they offer it to him it is almost too good to pass up.<P>So, here's the really good part, he asked if I would come visit him if he moved (he's also going to want to come here alot too)-he said at least once a month? I said yes, yes, I'll come visit you! So then a little while later he said "It wouldn't be hard for you to get a job there either". I said "no I'm sure I could find something fairly easily". I went out on a limb and said, "I think that if you move to VA, that I'll be moving there too sometime". He talked about how if he moves there he will have to get an apt. that does not have a year lease. He talked about how he would go there, get settled in, get aquainted w/the area & then find a place for "us". I just said, I'll be ready to come down when you tell me you're ready for me.<P>Sounds pretty good huh?? I mean the way I'm supporting him with this possible move is WAY out of character for the way I "used" to be. Before all this happened I would have been having a fit that he would think about moving away from me for even a few months. I think he is definately seeing the changes I've made. I can't belive how selfish I was. . I mean I'm supposed to support him, even if it means some pain or discomfort for me, right??!!<P>Any thoughts? I think it's pretty good news.

Sounds really hopeful. I'm new here and don't know your whole story. How long have you been working on this? Is A still going on? Sounds like you are doing a great job of giving him space to decide what he wants, something I've been having a really hard time with. H and I were getting along well for a couple of weeks - he was visiting daily, said he thought about me at night, and looked forward to coming to work because he knew he'd see me there (we own a business together) - so well that I started subtly pressuring him to make a decision. Now he's angry or not talking to me. It's encouraging to read posts by people who have obviously learned to use MB principles with success.

LetsTry-I'm fairly new too, I think I found MB around Nov/Dec. Yes his A is still going on, but OW is LB'ing ALL over the place.<P>It's so hard for me not to pressure him either, but I know it's going to be a major LB, so I leave that for OW (she gets furious when she finds out he was with me, I wish I could somehow let her know I went away w/him!). I just know that I have to let him leave her on his own, not because I'm bugging him too. I am positive that they will not last, but I just have to be paitent. It is very hard. You've just got to let it go. Hang in there & good luck. . .it sucks to be here, but if you're in the situation that most of us here are, this is the best place to be!<BR>

bitsy,<P>Nice to hear of your trip. Things seem to be going well, and a pat on the back for your ability to not pressure. It can only help you as time goes on. OW will LB herself out of his life. As usual, be prepared for anything, but I know you're well aware of that already.

I think it sounds like you are completely on the right track. I'll betcha he leaves her behind. But whether he does or doesn't how about sending him really supportive letters while he's there pointing out exactly why you have faith in him to do a great job...or better yet, write him one now telling him how much you appreciated him including you in this important day and what great qualities he has that make him perfect for any job. And hey, if the OW reads it and has a fit.it's not your fault!!!

Hi Bitsy,<P>Wow!!! I am happy for you. Glad to hear some good news. It made me smile (which is quite an accomplishment nowdays).<P>Take Care,<BR>Orchid