H has been having an A since October/November. He left me in November. I have been on MB since and going to counseling. H has told everyone that him and OW are just friends and her parents house(where she is staying) is just somewhere to go while he is staying w/ family. H told friends he was looking forward to spending this weekend alone while house sitting for family. Well I caught him at OW's house instead. I also found out that they have been making plans to move out of state together and run away. This is all so hard on me. OW is is 6 yrs older than us w/ 3 kids and she is still married. H is watching her kids (we have no kids) because her H found out about them. H said he now wants his stuff from the house (just stuff he brought into the marriage) and said he would start paperwork yesterday. I am now on anti depressants. I have tried plan A even though H was not at home. Now its plan B. I can't believe how much H is in the "fog". I have admitted to all I did wrong before H left and have made changes to myself. But I have also done some love busters these last months by going to OW's house last friday and by making H talk to me in front of a friend last week and asking him questions about him and OW's future (they are planning on moving in together when they are both single). I feel like I am losing the best man ever and all everyone else sees is this jerk who left his wife for another woman that is on her second divorce. Blah blah blah-sometimes I feel like the biggest whiner ever!!<BR>

Trs,<BR>Hey, I know how you feel. It all sounds very familiar. My H moved in with OW right after Thanksgiving, said the "only friends" thing. He was "helping" her to get away from her abusive H. What a joke since he had been verbally abusing me daily since August. She's 27 yrs. younger than him with one child. I wrote a Plan B letter at the Harley's suggestion, gave it to H and then promptly blew it. At that point H and I were still having sex but then he told me he can no longer cheat on OW. This week he's avoiding me. I did well on Plan A while he was being nice and the only (very) painful thing was that he went home to her at night. But when he either avoids me for days or rages at me about all the horrible things I did to him and continue to do to him, it's much harder not to LB. I also have admitted to all I did and am working on changing. He's not interested in working on anything, he just wants to stay in his "comfort zone" with OW. I also see the good side while everyone tells me I should move on. But the more disrespectfully he treats me, the less interest I have. Unfortunately, losing the feeling of love doesn't make me feel any better because it's been my life for 19 years. Go ahead and whine. I know I need to. I have to believe we won't be whining forever.