This is a revelation folks-you see for the past 5 months family and friends have been telling me there is no way my H could have an affair. He is too nice, he is not that way. So for 3 months I have been trying to convince myself that all of Dr. Harley's stuff applies to my H being in the fog. Its been hard - people say he just needs time to think-he fell out of love it happens-this is just a friend... all this time I have been struggling inside on what to believe. I went back to Novemberin my head today - He left Nov 10th. Came home Nov 12th (to work it out) all night he was very strange. He looked like he was trying to just go thru the motions. He said he did not want to do anything physical at that time. Than he wolk me up in the middle of the night and said he was going out for cigerrates- he came back 3 hours later-this is when I believe he went back into the fog-he probably called OW while I was sleeping and went to her house. No one can convince me of anything different now. Just wanted to talk to people who know what I am going thru and don't think I am talking nonsense!!!

It's sounds to me like your H has never confirmed nor denied your suspiscions and that must be very hard for you. All I can say is that all the signs were there for me and I did not see them or denied their existence. I hope for your sake that you are wrong, but it doesn't sound like it. But you are right, you are not crazy...something is out of whack!

I just wanted to let you know how much I can relate to all of this. Your H seems to be following a rather typical pattern.<P>For the past 5 months family and friends have been telling me there is no way my H could have an affair. He is too nice, he is not that way.>>><P>Yep, yep yep! My H was the LAST person ANYONE thought was the affair type, myself included! <P><BR>this is just a friend..>>><P>When I hear that I want to vomit. I've come to the cponclusion that 99% of cases saying "She/he is just a friend" translates into "If we're not having an affair now, we will be soon"<P>He left Nov 10th. Came home Nov 12th (to work it out) all night he was very strange. He looked like he was trying to just go thru the motions. He said he did not want to do anything physical at that time. Than he wolk me up in the middle of the night and said he was going out for cigerrates- he came back 3 hours later-this is when I believe he went back into the fog-he probably called OW while I was sleeping and went to her house. >>><P>I went through that 3 times before he came home for good. He wanted to work things out but he wasn't acting right. He would go to the gas station up the street for gas and be gone for 45 minutes (which I later confirmed by cell phone records he was calling her). He just wasn't ready to recommit. Each of those times he came home lasted about 4-7 days. During those times though he never told her it was over with them. I'm sure he just said he "wasn't sure." The second he did tell her it was over (the final time) she couldn't wait to pick up that phone and call me. Of course while he wsa with OW he was pulling the same c--p on her. He would call me on his cell (he was probably out "getting cigarettes" lol) and afew times he showed up here at 2-3 am and crawled into bed with me becasue he "couldn't sleep" in his so called empty apartment.<P>The final time he came home it was totally different. He was obviously firm in his decision and glad to be here. Of course that didn't keep me from waiting for the other shoe to drop for a couple of months. Almost 2 years now (hooray!) and things are really great. Plan a worked for me, but it sure wasn't easy.