Well, he stopped by today after work to give me my Valentine's Day present, he got me a sweater. . it's pretty & I like it, but he continues to buy me stuff that's so impersonal (is that a word??). And I'm pretty sure that the only reason he got me something is cuz I told him I had something for him. Anyhow, whatever.<P>So, he said he would call me later today to let me know if he would be comming here later tonight to get what I have for him (all the balloons w/notes in them). Well, he called, @ 11:00, from our friends house. He said OW wanted him to come see her too tonight-and that's why he was where he is (can't choose). He said, I just can't take this anymore. I told him I'm sorry & that I didn't want to be a problem for him, I said if you don't want my present it's ok (I know that sounds like I was being a martyr, but I'm not & didn't sound like I was pouting). He said YOU'RE not being a problem (ok, so when are you going to do something about the problem???-that's what I'm wondering!). He said, I got the feeling that what you wanted to do for me was something intimate. I said well, it could be, but it doesn't have to be. He said don't get me wrong, I want that with you, but you sometimes take it towards yourself. . . it's not like that, I just have too much respect for you. I'm never sure if that's true, or if he's just being loyal to OW. I guess if he's not here, he's in the best place he can be, the friend's he's with are so for me. .they hate OW, and I've talked to them somewhat about MB, and what I'm doing & why. They get it a little I think.<P>He also said that me going with him to his interview really meant alot. I told him it did to me too, and that I was glad he allowed me to be a part of that very important day. He said probably he will come tomorrow night for my present.<P>So, now I wonder if what I'm planing to do is too much for him right now??? I mean he says (2 times I told him I don't want to be a problem & 2 times he said I'M not the problem) that I'm not the problem, but do you think it will make him feel guilty, or like I'm pushing too much? I don't know what to do.<P>Man, it was WAY hard not to cry when he called me. I really, really try to understand what he's going thru right now, but you know it still just hurts. I guess I should be glad that he didn't choose, although I know that they need to be together in order for it to end. I don't know, it's just all really, really sucky.<P>What should I do about my balloons to him? I hope some former WS's respond to this.

bitsy,<P>He's really on the fence, from the sounds of it. Hard to say what is going through his mind. I think just continuing to not push is the best approach. Obviously you can't continue to be like this forever, but you have your timeframe in mind, and seem to be doing an excellent Plan A.<P>As for the balloons, that is a tough one. You don't want to seem pushy, but my gut feeling is that this is different enough that it will be a long term gain. You can tell him that you aren't pushing, just wanting to show him that you care, or whatever. Or you don't have to say anything. Someone else might come along and say don't do it, but since it is a neat idea, I am in favor of it.<P>My ideas haven't been fruitful in my own situation though...so take it with a grain of salt. Do let us know...but I know you will anyway.<P>This is all really sucky...no question there. Your perception of my situation is right. See my post. Thanks for your support towards me.