As I have said in my previous post my wife is chatting with men online. I have recently installed a screen tracker and have been surprised. The latest is that she is rejecting any outright requests for sex. One chat partner in particular who lives nearby has convinced her to meet at a specified place in which he will not know who she is but she will see him. I have asked my wife what she is doing tommorrow and she has told me that she has planned to go with a friend to this specific place. I do not know if it´s just a little game of fantasy or if I'm in for trouble. What do you all think?

I think that this is very serious and should<BR>not be taken lightly. You know that she chats<BR>with men online and refused sexual requests from the men. This behavior is unacceptable and you know may eventually lead to trouble. Now she is going to have fun guessing who the man is when she goes to this place. It seems so obvious that it will be a matter of time in the future that this behavior will lead to serious trouble in your marriage. Your wife sounds like a ticking time bomb.<BR>I wish you luck.

I think you're in trouble as well. This next thoughts are only half-serious. Have you every considered trying to be her romantic chat partner without her knowledge? Sounds too much like the movies or the old "pinacoladas" song. Is there any way that you could appear to be the person she's looking for at this place? Do you think chat boy would hang around if he knew you were there? How about having some friends that your wife might not recognize have a word with chat boy before he enters the establishment and you take his place? Is her friend that is accompanying her married? <P>I know pretty lame; it's all I could come up with. <P><BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Richritchey:<BR><B>One chat partner in particular who lives nearby has convinced her to meet at a specified place in which he will not know who she is but she will see him. I have asked my wife what she is doing tommorrow and she has told me that she has planned to go with a friend to this specific place. I do not know if it´s just a little game of fantasy or if I'm in for trouble. What do you all think?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Rich, I have the feeling that we are going to log on here in a few weeks and you will tell us you walked in on her having sex with two guys, a donkey, and a midget, and ask us if we think it is all right.<P>Your post below was answered unanimously by people saying you better get into action because your wife is shopping for an affair. If you are going to just sit by and watch it happen, I don't know what to tell you.<P>You need to get some honesty and accountability and boundaries in your marriage, and start meeting some of her needs that she is going outside to get filled. But first you better get a sense of urgency about this, because you are fiddling while Rome burns, my friend.<P>Mike

OK, I'll chime in here.<P>I'm a married W with an active online life. I have a movie review Web site, a novella I'm working on, and I have an entire circle of online friends I've never met.<P>I do NOT participate in online chat. I do NOT maintain ongoing correspondences with men, other than those I need to for my movie reviewing, which is like having co-workers. And the one I'm closest with is gay anyway. <P>My H knows about my online life; I am very open with him about it, and I have often asked him if he has discomfort with it, and he says no. I give him a lot of credit; I wouldn't be as comfortable if the situation were reversed. Especially since his little emotional thing with his boss 2 years ago.<P>That said...<P>On occasion I have received correspondence from men. Some of it has been pretty open about looking for a relationship. I always nip those right in the bud. Usually an "I'm happily married and not looking" does it.<P>If your W is engaging in online chat, there is probably something she's not getting at home...probably romantic talk, or words about how special she is, or something along those lines.<P>She is playing with fire, and SHE might not even realize it yet.<P>You still have time to take action. I know you want to confront her about it, but trust me, she will not confess to anything, because SHE PROBABLY ISN'T AWARE OF IT. My H denied an inappropriate relationship for a year. It wasn't until I left him a 2-page single-spaced typewritten letter detailing exactly what it was about that relationship that bothered me, along with a bunch of roses, and then I went alone to the movies, that he woke up.<P>Meanwhile, I had been Plan A-ing for a year.<P>Read everything you can here about emotional needs. Pick up a copy of the book HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS. While you're at it, get a copy of Susan Page's HOW ONE OF YOU CAN BRING BOTH OF YOU TOGETHER. Read them. Understand them. Put them to work in your marriage. When your W is getting what she needs from you, she won't have to go outside.<P>