I have been a lurker here for sometime. Let me give you some background. H had an affair that lasted 3 yrs. He told me about it once (after 6 mos) I found out about it various other ways 3 more times. I know!!! we have been to a counselor together and now seperately. One of the HUGE problems is the OW will not stop contacting H. She calls his work and shows up there. She gets escorted out when she shows up. She doesn't get thru on the phone most times but sometimes she has other people call and then when he picks up she is on the line. I do not know if they are talking at all on the phone. He says no, but has a huge history of lying and being able to be sincere and convincing. Advice? Also, anyone have the template of the no contact letter? We have not tried this. Our counselor adviced against the restraining order given her history of "feeding" off of negative attention. and that she would be allowed to come to the court house to contest it and would probably cause a scene. she is a real piece of work. She has been to our home and even called me. She taped the phone messages he sent her and sent me email photos of them. She took photos of her caller ID showing everytime he called her over 3 years and sent them to me. She went to the courthouse and copied every document pertaining to my husband. Marriage license, etc. Even his ex-wifes marriage license to her new husband. She just will not go away. <BR>Moving away is not an option at this time. He has a daugther here and I have grown children here as well. I've rambled on..... any advice??? Is there any way to find out if he has called her house? It would be from his work.

Here are some examples of no-contact letters I just collected from this site this weekend for my wife. My advance apologies to the original authors for the plagiaristic re-post. <P>Being with you was a mistake. I have been stupid. I realize that you are not worth losing my family for. I was weak and lonely. I'm sorry for my mistakes. I love my wife and son, and want to work things out with my wife. Please do not contact me again as I will not contact you. <BR>H<BR>****************************************************<BR>OW <BR>This letter will be the last time I contact you for the rest of my life. Please do not respond to me in any form. This letter is just to make it clear to you that I do not want to ever see or hear from you again. <BR>By having a relationship with you I have caused so much pain, to the people I love most in life, my wife and children. While I know moving back home can not completely repay them for what I have done, it is a start and the right thing to do. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up to my wife and children the pain I have caused them. <BR>I know in my mind and heart that our relationship was a huge mistake. My wife and my children are the most important things in my life and they are my reason for living. I could not face the rest of my life without my wife by my side. She is my partner for life and I love her with all of my heart. Because I care so much for my wife and children and want to protect them from any more pain I am completly ending our relationship and never want to have any contact with you again. <BR>Do not call me. Do not write to me. Do not send me any cards. Do not attempt to see me. I have promised my wife and children I would never communicate with you again after this letter. Please respect this promise and do not contact me in any way, ever again. <BR>Husband<BR>******************************************************<BR>I am writing this letter to let you know out respect to my husband and children, I have come to realize I must never see or talk with you again. <BR>I am rebuilding my relationship with my husband and family and trying to regain all lost trust and love my husband has for me at this time. I care and love my husband and children and wish I could change my past actions, but that is impossible. I feel like I was searching for something I had all along. <BR>The person I was the last six months is someone I would like to forget. The decisions I made and my actions were heavily influenced by alcohol. During this time I was not living up to the strong morals and values I normally hold myself accountable for. The lying, cheating, and unfaithfulness I put my friends, family and husband through is something I never want to do again. I can only pray that God, my husband, and my friends can forgive my actions and sins. <BR>Please respect my decision, do not try and contact me in anyway EVER, and allow me to rebuild my life with my family. <BR>WS<BR>************************************************<BR>"[OM]: <BR>Allow me to come to the point. Do not attempt to contact me by any means, ever. I do not wish to receive phone calls, e-mails, or any other form of correspondence from you, at any time, for any reason. <BR>You and I had an affair that I deeply regret. It caused my H and myself an enormous amount of pain and sorrow. Since ______, 2000, I have been trying to repair the damage that my affair caused my marriage. Every time that you attempt to contact me causes more unnecessary pain for both me and for my H. <BR>Don't delude yourself. I have no feelings for you now, if indeed I ever did. What was between us is finished, completely. My heart belongs to my H, and it always will. <BR>If, despite my wishes, you continue to attempt to contact me, I will take whatever legal actions I feel are appropriate and necessary to prevent you from doing so. For everyone's sake, I hope that it will not come to that. <P>