With the support I've gotten here in addition to reading "The 12 Step Guide for Codependants" by Melody Beatty, I have been carefully planning my escape from the situation I'm in.<P>I think the final blow was that H told me the day before Valentine's Day that he would be home that evening, but when I got home from work he was gone. No note this time. He was gone for two nights, then returned, and hid out in our spare room.<P>On Saturday morning, I calmly informed him that a realtor would be arriving that morning to look at the house. He was stunned! I told him that our present situation was intolerable, & that living with him wasn't much different than living with a drug addict. I also told him that "on the highway of life, he was sitting in the back seat and no one was behind the wheel". Before he left for work, he told me that I was right, that he's out of control.<P>Then, that night he didn't come home again!!<P>I continued to work on my exit plan, assuming that he had headed for OW's house again. So, last evening I was very surprised to see him come walking back in. He told me that he had driven about an hour after getting off work, then rented a cheap motel once he got too tired to drive. He said he then spent the day at a museum, then at a lake looking at the sailboats. (Sailboats are a biggy with him as we sailed down the west coast shortly after we were first married.) He then began reminescing about our sailing adventure we had together. I asked him why he hadn't called me and he said, "Because I figured you would tell me to come home; that I couldn't run away."<P>So, I MAY have a small window of opportunity here. I think I might have gotten his attention. But, I'm certainly not expecting any huge miracles. I just have to stay the course, and remain strong. Tonight I'm going to "strongly suggest" that he get back into counseling and start with some type of 12-Step program. He is so very lost.
