I just need a little insight. My wife and I were having problems but she said we would work them out. Things went great for two days then she was gone all day and with a guy she said was just a friend. That night when she got home she said she wanted out. I lost it and cried all night with no hope. I found this web page and began using some if the ideas. Things were looking up after a few days she hugged me and said we would work things out. Then the very next day she told me it was over she didn't want to work it out and she wanted to be with the other guy. She said she wants us to be friends still but it's killing me. I started plan a but I would just like a little insight or some suggestions.

Your wife is in what they call a "fog". Please read all you can on these sights and all of the books and articles you can get your hands on. It sounds like this is all just starting so you have time...this is not a "friend" she is with. Please seek counseling as soon as possible. The sooner you get on the band wagon the BETTER!! I refused to see my H left me for OW and sat around for a month before doing anything-he took this sitting around as a sign that I really did not love him...Keep in touch w/ us here we will help. You need to find out what EN's you were not meeting for your wife. Yes-the first step is realizing that you have come across in a way that your wife no longer wants to talk to and this OM is meeting this need that you did not meet. Please do not Love Bust!! Or accuse her of anything but come across in a way that makes coming home an attractive choice. I know this is a TOUGH PIll to SWALLOW, please remember nothing justifies an affair but it is happening. My prayers and thoughts are with you.<p>[This message has been edited by Trs (edited February 22, 2001).]

wrnglr.<BR> Ditto what trs said. Get all the info you can, and try to hang in there. Don't expect your W to behave rationally. She won't.<BR>Hoping for the best,<BR>hope

My heart goes out to you, as does my prayers.<P>Simply put.. read everything here you can, till it becomes really clear what you need to do. There is some awesome advice in this group and it will guide you through.<P>Remember.. SHE WILL ACT WACKO AND IRRATIONAL AND HEARTLESS! This is NORMAL.<P>You need to respond with love, understanding, heart, and meet those emotional needs. <P>In case you are wondering.. we all think that having to do a plan A during these circumstances is very HARD and UNFAIR, but it's the best path to recovery.<P>God Bless and keep us all posted.<P>K

thank you all for your helpful advice. I'm going for counseling next week. I'm hoping it will help. My wife actually said she wantd to work it out with me today. I'm not sure I believe her. She has said these things before but she on't agree to break it off completely with the OM. She says she wants to remain friends with him. I really do want to work it out and be happy again but I know if she still sees the OM it will go back the other way. I think I will continue with plan a and hopefully things will work out. My first goal is to permanently seperate her from the OM. thanks again to all of you who gave me some insight.