Jeez, I suck.<P>He's moving, he found an apt. and can move in on 3/9. I'm sad, of course, but I'm also feeling really afraid today. I'm not quite sure why. He wanted this job so badly and I think it will be good for him and even for us. . but I guess I'm just doubting myself right now. I would feel tons better if we were really talking about me moving there too, but we're not really. I mean, I through in a little joke here and there about how I will be moving too and he smiles. He's also said things to me like "Now I'll be making more $ than you and things will be the way they are supposed to be, it wouldn't be hard for you to get a job there." Or he's asked my girls if they would want to move down there to be with him. But I just feel so yucky about it today. Just like I'm going to cry every second.<P>He's asked me to go with him when he moves (along with one or two other friends) to help him move in down there. That makes me glad. There are so many hopeful things that I can usually think of about this move (even just wrote about them), but I can't get over this sad feeling today, and I'm not sure why.<P>I think that I want to cry to him & tell him how much I will miss him and have him hold me and tell ME it will be ok, but I can't. First cuz I don't think he's ready to make me any promises, and second because I know he's really scared & nervous about moving (nothing's going to change for me except he will be far away, everything will change for him) so I don't think that will be very helpful to him. And I'm trying hard to be strong & supportive. I just feel sad.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Bitsy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>BTW, Sweetie, you never told me WHERE he was moving to. Is it near me?<P>Hang in there, bad days pass.<P>Lori

bitsy,<P>sorry you are down. think sometimes it is harder to understand when there is on main reason, it is just the whole situtation.<P>I read this in article last night (today for ya'll) & it helped me. Reminded me of Winston Churchill's famous quote of "Never, never, give up."<BR>> Finally, never give up! No matter how sad you are. No matter how<BR>> difficult the road ahead appears to be. No matter how much everything<BR>> in you is telling you to quit. Never give up. God invariably reveals<BR>> His wisdom after the struggle, not before or during. Never give up.>><P>This was the last paragraph in a wonderful article. link below.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200102/20010222_anniversary.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200102/20010222_anniversary.html</A> <P> in fact if my H & had done those things we wouldn't be here. we never put our marriage 1st, it was the boys, & everything else. I always thought there would be a time to put us 1st later. was i ever wrong. I sent this to my H, with a short note, that this is what we did wrong, it made me sad to read this but I felt/I needed to share this with you. Do not know it he will read or not but what did I have to lose by sending, nothing. If it touched his heart, I might gain.<P>hang in there, hope you find some peace, prayers

bitsy,<P>I know you have been happy for him regarding the new job, and that is good. But I've also thought, but not mentioned it, that there will be times when you suddenly don't feel so happy about it all, because not only has all the stuff of late with OW happened, but now he is moving away. That does add another dimension to it. Exactly what impact that will have on your relationship is somewhat of an unknown. It could be the event that is the turning point for bringing you together. It could also be something that makes it go the other way.<P>I don't mean to make things worse and make you worry. I'm mainly just saying that the feelings you are having are to be expected, in my opinion. This is a big unknown. You are happy that he is doing something that is good for him, and also it is a positive that he is getting away from OW. Yet it has this unknown impact on you both. It is scary.<P>All you can ever do is your best. Doing that will invariably lead to happiness. How that is achieved is yet to be determined. At any given moment, we can only see what we know and understand. We can't see the unknowns that lie further ahead. But I really believe that if we always make wise choices and get up each day and make the best of it and take care of ourselves, things become more obvious, and we create our own happiness.<P>We all have days like you have today, but we have no idea what will exist 5 years from now. I don't know what situation I'll be in then, but regardless of what happens with me and my wife, I believe that in X years from now, I'll be able to look back and whatever does happen will make sense. Does that make sense?<P>You are being a strong person to support him moving away, but I'm sure it is scary. Hang in there and things will sort themselves out. We can't force it.<P>Don't wonder why you feel sad or afraid. I'd be surprised if you didn't. Accept it, but know that whatever you feel, the feelings will not last forever. None of us stay in the funk (does anyone else use that word?) forever. You know that. Am I just rambling and not saying much????<P>Have a better day tomorrow, and if not tomorrow, then the next day <P>

lostva-YOU never told me where you live, he's going to Richmond, is that near you?<P>sing-thanks, I belive, I belive, I believe, I have to or else I can't go on. . if I don't believe I can't even go on being myself right now. I know it may not turn out the way I want it to, but for right now, I just have to believe.<P>Rick-I know. .I'm pretty good most of the time at pushing things I don't like to the back of my mind. But every once in a while it just gets so full back there that it overtakes. Everything you said is so right. I am really happy with myself, I'm proud of everything I've learned and how I've grown. But I just want it to be for him, you know? I know I will be ok either way, I want him. . maybe it's cuz I can't really see a future that I like for me without him?? I think that's part of it, but I like him, I like who he is inside, I like what he's done with his life, I like how he treats my girls, I like how my family likes him, I like his family, the list just goes on. I'm a big planner in my head, I think about tomorrow & the next day & I get it all planned out of how I think it will be-and then if it doesn't go according to plan, I'm disapointed. Bad? I don't know. I'm planning my life w/him. Maybe I still need to learn to just live for the moment, be happy with my today and not worry about tomorrow. Don't know if I can do that. . .<P>Sorry, that's probably just a bunch of rambling, I don't even want to read over it to check.