I think I'm trying to fight the, I won't get bitter battle - but I'm losing. I'm so &%^*(%($ angry that he would do this again, lie to me looking me straight in the face during our counseling sessions by saying "I won't ever do that again", all the while screwing some little stupid naive chick behind my back!!!!!!!! <P>Now - here I am about to go back through counseling for his bull. I sat there and did what he wanted - why isn't that good enough? Here's why "because I felt like you were being made to do that". What in the world is the dang on difference if I ask you what you need in or out of a counseling session?!! Now - I'll go back but he won't. Heck - he needs to go! He needs to figure out why in the world he feels like he needs someone to fawn over his butt! <P>I don't know who else has felt like this, but why is it I now feel like there is no holiday that belongs to me? Not only that, last year both of my grandmothers died while he was busying having a hopping good time in other people's beds! I don't even feel like that support is genuine. Did I take time away from his precious floozies?! <P>I'M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!!!!!! Also, why is it, that I have got to cater to his every need? What about mine? Whenever I mention something I need, he acts like I've asked him to be castrated! I want to go lay down and cry but I'm so mad right now, I just can't even let him have one tear with his name on it! Also, if he felt like counseling didn't work the first time, what am I supposed to do now? I don't have a degree in psychology - heck I'm a political science person - not a doctor! <P>I don't want to even talk about trust, I don't trust him to go to the bathroom alone right now. How is it when you work so hard to rebuild it, they can just tear it down in one fell swoop?! AGHHHH!!!!!!! I just don't get it. I've been doing a very good plan A, except for last night when my emotions got the best of me (he's not still seeing Little Miss Naive OW #2) but I need to yell about how he has significantly damaged this by acting like a bona fide idiot! What in the world is wrong with opening your mouth and saying what you need?! I just don't get it.<P>Sorry & Thanks for letting me vent.<P>Vee

Vee, you've got mail.<BR>Jackie