He talked to OW last night on the phone, they were discussing their relationship and where it's going to go since he's moving. He told her he was NOT going to not be there for me & my girls. He said she has helped me alot & we've been through alot together and I'm not going to let her down now. Although he does continue to refer to me as a friend (I'm deciding I don't care WHAT he calls me-just paying attention to his actions). She said, what don't I help you? He said I'm not saying that you don't, but she does too and I'm just not going to not see her. She said all I ever hear about anymore is her (I mean what kind of idiot is she? If you were with someone for 3 months & all they talked about was their last relationship wouldn't you be running the other way??). She asked him if he & I had talked about me going down there (I think they were just talking about me visiting him) and he said yes, and he told her that I'm going along to help him move in. She wasn't happy. Then-get this-she said, "I've been going thru alot of sh** because of you sleeping with her!!! (Think I'll probably send her some flowers!). He told her, well there's the other side of the coin, you shouldn't have to go thru any sh** because of me, another reason to end this. Then I guess she started getting mean & yelling & he said, that's it, I'm done & hung up on her.<P>He came here last night. He said, I've ended it and I've got to stick to it. Said he was in a bad mood. I told him that I knew it had to be hard for him right now, that I know he cares about peoples feelings and that is one of the things I really like about him. He didn't really talk to much about her.<P>He called one of his friends from college that he hasn't talked to for a while to tell him about his job. . his friend asked him if I was going to move with him, he said, yea probably eventually (I just smiled & winked at him). He knows too.<P>And the winner is. . . .bitsy!!!! (Can you hear the crowd cheering?)!! Applause, applause, applause.

Bitsy...this is great news!<P>However, this OW seems mean-spirited. Be cautious. It wouldn't surprise me if she still tries to cling on and continues contact. Some OW, after they are dumped, will be persistent in their goal to get our spouse's back. They act as if it were a contest or something.<P>In addition, be prepared if your H goes through any type of withdrawal. I'm hoping that this OW lovebusted enough that your H will continue to be convinced that this OW is nothing but trouble.<P>You hang in there. Continue your Plan A. Obviously, you are doing a fabulous job!

Bitsy,<P>Ta-da! <P>Actually, I hope she does keep screeching at him--just to keep him on track till he gets out of this "fog-hangover"!<P>It would be ever so helpful of her. <P>Let her go into love bank bankruptcy!<P>Keep on racking up them love units, B!<P>I am so sure that one day you will hear the words you would like to hear from your H.<P>You're doing a great job, Hon!<P>Aloha,<P>L<P>

Hi Bitsy,<P>Your hard work is showing positive results. I am glad. It is good to hear that your H is beginning to appreciate you. You have been a great encouragement to us all. I am especially grateful. <P>My H appears to be coming out of the 'fog or vog' (vog - hawaiian volocano smoke). I think most of our WS's are mostly in the 'vog'. It is a hot, stinky, smokey environment that they created. We are drawn it to it against our will. The smoke stings our eyes and tempers can rage uncontrolled like a volcano, destroying everything in its path. The smell of their A's make our noses cringe. But in the end with our support, some make it through the vog and come out to see the family they truly love and rebuild their marriage. <P>You and your H have the opportunity ahead of you. Please be happy. <P>Aloha,<BR>L.