Ok - I need some serious input here. I really need to think about this before I go back to counseling tomorrow. Short history (see Why Does it Happen Again Post). <P>It's been a week since d-day # 2. My problem is that during the 2nd PA, my H did just about everything that I asked. He came to counseling with me and proclaimed, it'll never happen again, all the while he's carrying on a new PA. Needless to say I'm devasted. I can't even bring myself to put his clothes back in the closet. After going through all the whys - I'm not sure that I know what will make me trust him.<P>I feel like I went out on a limb and said, ok I think I'm ready to try again, when suddenly I'm back on my butt. When we went to counseling I told him that I wanted him to spend more time with me (lonliness was probably the sole reason for my PA), call to let me know what time he'd be home, come home at a reasonable hour, etc. So - he does those things but still has a PA. <P>Now - I told him today, that I'm not sure how I'm supposed to redefine trust. My H is very athletic compared to my bookworm activities. So his fear is that I'm going to say - all your hobbies must cease - no more football, no more magazine staff stuff. I know that the goal here is to make amends and all that jazz, but I don't feel safe anymore. I can't accompany him to all of those things, so I feel really stuck. I feel as if I would question anyplace he goes because of his prior actions. <P>He doesn't plan on going to counseling with me because he felt like he didn't get anything out of it (hmm I wonder why if you're not exactly receptive and have some slut hanging off of you ...) So, I'm just not sure any of this is going to help me get anywhere. <P>Can someone help me out here?