Hi once again to all my friends...<BR>As you all know my wife has filed for divorce, but according to her it has nothing to do with the OM. Well I found out today that he has left his wife and has also filed for divorce, but that has nothing to do with my W.<P>So now the plan is that they are just going to take it slow and date for maybe a year or so...and see if they truly are madly in love with each other as they keep professing! YA RIGHT!!!! And I saw 3 pigs flying by my window this morning chasing a big bad wolf in a corvette!!!!<P>What will the two of them come up with next for all of us to digest. Excuse me...I think I need to go throw up now....lol<BR>Mike

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>As you all know my wife has filed for divorce, but according to her it has nothing to do with the OM. Well I found<BR> out today that he has left his wife and has also filed for divorce, but that has nothing to do with my W.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Isn't coincidence the most <B>amazing</B> thing???<P>Hang in there--<P>Kathi

mbtrk - my situation was nearly identical - both my wife and OM moved out at about the same time on "trial" separations to sort out what they wanted from their marriages - had nothing to do with each other. The sad humor was that they were so smitten with each other and childish with their behavior, that everyone in the neighborhood could tell what they were doing.<P>Reminds me of that "script" we used to discuss here that they all follow. It's title was "Just Friends."<P>WAT

We need to come up with a website that has very specific, and carefully planned information on the script, affairs, testimonials, etc, so we can anonymously send it to the WS. Wouldn't help anyway I guess, but it can't be something where they have to do alot of searching.<P>How could anyone think that their two filings are in any way related? Imagine....<P>

Talking about scripts!! When I first caught H sleeping on OW's couch I asked him where her H was and why they were seperated he said "I have enough of my own problems I am not concerned with her problems, we're just friends". A month later after finding out he had been staying with her all month I called her and asked her what her intentions were with my husband her line was"I have enough of my own problems I am not concerned with his" Rehearsed???? Yep!!!! Now the are moving in together. I wonder if they are concerned with each others problems now??? Bad memories for me...

Hey All...you guys crack me up!!!!<BR>Kathi...<BR>The amount of coincidence in this whole mess has just been mind boggling...but of course the two of them really didn't have any of this planned...lol<P>Wat and Rick...<BR>It seems that we have so much in common right now that I think we should colaborate on a book. That way we could market it as the lines most likely to be used by a WS. Hey there are enough of them out there, and they would probably buy it because then they wouldn't have to come up with their own lies and stories. They could just cross reference the catagory and use someone elses!!! Maybe..."Things you are afraid to say because someone else already has". Think about it...I know it would be a best seller!!!!<P>This whole thing just gets more disgusting as it goes on. <P><BR>TRS...<BR>I don't know why they think that just because they have gone into some giant brain cramp and can't think on their own that we also have. My wife told me this morning that it was me who has changed and she is the same person as she always was...<P>I just started laughing so hard I almost had an accident! I then appologized for laughing, started laughing again and had to leave the room. She couldn't understand what I was laughing at. This was of course all after I got the "he moved out of his house and it has nothing to do with me" story.<P>It just keeps getting better. I just think of them both as being so pathetic now that I really don't G.A.S***.<P>Mike<P>------------------<BR>the probability of someone watching you...is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions

mike, my H and OW both also moved out the same day. H denied they were together, they were "just friends." She was supposedly staying with friends in another town. He had just helped her to get away from her abusive H, after he, my H had been verbally abusing me for 4 months, probably trying to build up the courage to move out. They're still together 3 months later. My WS tells me from time to time that he's thinking of moving out on his own, but he never takes any action. Neither H or OW have filed for divorce though. Who are they trying to convince? I think it must be themselves...

Must add a few experiences as well. My wife was staying out till about 1AM most nights. She helped OM purchase his new condo. Day of his possession, she came in at 3:30 AM. Her hours continued to be later for the next few weeks. I finally told her that there was a pattern since OM got his place. First she denied being there, then said it was too difficult to be here (no reason why), so she often fell asleep in his spare room. Yes, he was so kind as to offer her a room anytime she wanted, AND she even had an alarm clock in it so she could wake up at 3AM to be home for 3:30. Why not tell me about it? Because of course I'd suspect something was up. NO, WHY WOULD I SUSPECT SOMETHING? Why was she staying there? Because he "understood" how difficult it would be to be separated but not have a place to go. If they could only have heard themselves 2 years earlier.....

I'll have to chime in on this one, too. My Ex followed the script to its logical conclusion...divorce. Like Rick, my Ex followed a pattern of denial. I kept track of the pattern. After I made it clear that I was moving on with my life (a Plan B letter, if I recall), she would vascillate between attempting to reconcile and pushing me away. Each attempt to push me away coincided with her weekends with OM. Each attempt at reconciliation happened after she was away from OM for 3 weeks.<P>On the day of our divorce, I pointed this pattern out. Since then she has been re-evaluating everything she has done, with considerable regret.<P>At this point, I'd say you have nothing to lose. Call her on the divorce. Go right ahead with a nice, uncontested divorce. Make it as easy as possible. Make it crystal clear that YOU are leaving HER, and you don't need her anymore. See ya later, honey; nice knowing you...goodbye! No more Plan A, no more love, no more phone calls...nothing.<P>I'd say if she's so happy with OM, she couldn't possibly need you in her life anymore, and could she please communicate with you through your attorney.<P>This has nothing to do with OM? Fine, but explain that you will have nothing to do with HER while she is carrying on with him.<P>Not very MB-like, but MB didn't exactly work for me. Call her bluff...if he's the only man for her, make sure he is the ONLY man for her! Remove yourself from her life. See how she handles it. I'm gonna bet she'll break down and call you before you call her.

mbtrk,<P>I have the bk it is "The Quotable Cheating Spouse, when you don't know what to say, & think you are the only one who has ever felt this way handbook"<P>

I'm working on a useful tool for WSs to use that the BS would present to them soon after d-day. It's called "Lies made easy." It consists of three columns of words, the first column is a noun or pronoun or any other word appropriate for the beginning of a lie. The second column is mostly verbs and the third column is a list of words and phrases suitable for the predicate portion of the lie. All the WS has to do is pick a word or phrase from each column and string them together to make a new lie. For example, "We (column 1) are (column 2) just friends" (column 3). Hopefully, it'll cover the majority of popular lies. With this useful tool, the WS will know that we know they're lying and that we aren't being duped. As new lies are heard, the columns can be updated. If it doesn't give us a feeling of being one step ahead of them, it'll at least be fun. Could be particularly useful for new BSs. When we get it perfected, we'll make a refrigerator magnet version so it's always handy.<P>WAT

Hey guys,<BR>This thread is really cracking me up. I think I'll write a screen play to go along with the book! Anyone got any good ideas for a title?<P>It seems as though my WS doesn't consider herself wayward, because she decided that it was time to end the marriage as soon as she realized the "true depth" of her feelings for the OM. That they both have filed for divorce and have moved out of their respective homes only increases the depth of their understanding that they are NOT having an affair.<P>So now he is feeding my wife the lines that "my marriage is only a marriage of convenience and she really doesn't understand me" and my wife is feeding him the lines "my husband doesn't love the real me and doesn't understand who I really am". I also got the other day the line "I guess we both didn't really know who we were marrying" <P>Like in 12 years of our relationship I guess I really didn't know who she was. GIVE ME A BREAK! I told her that I might be able to go along with that if it had been a 1 or 2 year relationship...but no way was I going to buy into that justification of her affair.<P>Wat...<BR>I think your idea is great. Lets take it one step further and make a computer program that randomizes each catagory and spits out the lies for you. We can include the CD with the book!!! Maybe if it's on the computer and it would actually speak it for you, they could use the excuse that it was the computer that lied, not them! lol<P>Mike

Mike - I think the circular logic you describe - my WS doesn't consider herself wayward, because she decided that it was time to end the marriage as soon as she realized the "true depth" of her feelings for the OM - is very popular among the alien abductees. A real improvement on the chicken and egg question. What's the old joke? The person who murdered his parents asked for leniency because he was an orphan. I'm waiting for the tree in the forest logic that when the affair ends and it was never confessed, then it didn't happen.<P>Dave (WAT)<BR>

Oh, I've got an even better one for you:<P>"Marriage is just a piece of paper...I'm not really cheating becuase I'm not married to you IN MY HEART."<P>In other words, affairs are okay as soon as:<P>a: Your marriage is "in trouble." My Ex justified throwing herself into OM's arms becuase his marriage was failing, and so was ours (though I didn't know it yet).<P>b: You're separated. See, once she's moved out, its not really an affair...is it?<P>c: One of you files for divorce. If the marriage is going to end anyway, why stop seeing OP? Besides, you don't need some judge to tell you you're not married anymore!<BR>(That's a direct quote from my Ex)<BR>

Thanks all for the good chuckle. I needed it .<P>I thought I was the only insane person living and trying to save a marriage to an "alien"<P>Hopelessmom

here's another that I got in yet another letter left for me by my WS. She is blaming me for her family being mad at her. "if it feels good to you to have my family mad at me then you and my sisiter can continue to traash me to each other and everyone else. You don't care about me or my feelings. I didn't know that you people had ssuch similar views of life. Oh well, I guess we never really truly knew each other."<P>I guess that myself along with her family and the rest of you must be A-moral for thinking that when you get married, it means some sort of committment. Silly us to think that! <BR>Mike<BR>

Hey, now, Mike! Don't you know that HER feelings are far more important than yours?! Any tiny twinges of pain you felt on D-day should've been overwhelmed by your joy that she finally found her "soul-mate"!<P>Her family should be equally happy. In fact, they should be furious with you for standing in the way of your W's true happiness! How dare you let a technicality like your marriage interfere with what is obviously the Love Story of the Century!

Cjack and all!!!<BR>I love you guys....this is getting good! I laugh at all this now. Just when I start to feel a bit down in the dumps, you guys pick me up. I'm going to save this thread and re-read it...<P>This is quite a story line! It's amazing to me that all of these WS's have read the same material. It's too bad that the sequel to the WS handbook wasn't as easy to read. "The Fog of Betrayal" isn't a best seller yet. I guess the three and four letter words in it are too much for them to handle.<BR>Mike

When my x left, om just happened to be leaving his wife the same day too. Then when he moved in with her it was because he didn't want her to be alone.

My WS is not cheating on me because he left me to move in with OW, but he's cheating on her by coming over to my house and having sex with me - and they have "too much honesty" in their relationship for him to do that, at least for a week or so...